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Old 07-07-2012, 07:18 PM
km34 km34 is offline
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Default What "type" does your SO go for?

I know there has been talk in the past of people's SO's pursuing people who are "too similar" to the poster that it feels threatening or "so different" from the poster that she wonders what it is that the SO even sees in her.

My husband hasn't gotten too far in a relationship yet, but he tends to go for 2 physical types:

1: My body type - a bit on the heavy side or at least solidly built, big boobs.
2: Twigs (no offense) - tall, so thin it seems like you can see through them, no real curves to speak of.

I noticed the trend before he did. The women he is interested in on OkCupid either have pictures that are obviously showing off their gigantic bosoms or they are super thin. It kind of bugged me at first, more the thin ones than the ones built like me ("oh, you'd like me more if I looked like THAT") but then I realized I was being stupid, and it started to amuse me because he went back and looked at the people he's talked to in the past and realized I was right! He felt kind of bad that his decision on whether or not to contact people seemed to rely solely on their acceptance of poly (or at least the lack of judging it) and their body type.

Personality-wise he is attracted to the opposite of me - more submissive-seeming, go-with-the-flow kind of people. Which doesn't surprise me, because he gets enough dominant, I-want-it-my-way crap from me (not in a terrible way, but more often than not I get my way because I make a more valid argument or manage to convince him with my feminine wiles ).

So, what does everyone else think? Does your SO (or SOs) tend to feel attracted to people similar to you or vastly different? Physically or personality-wise.
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Old 07-07-2012, 07:40 PM
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Phy Phy is offline
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Hm, interesting, we have talked about this before as well

Sward: I was the exception from the rule in his case, physically as well as character-wise. His girlfriends were small, thin, blond and to some extend even tiny. The one before me was 1,50m/4'7 even. Really small. Personality wise he seem to go for the cute and seemingly more passive ones, who can throw a tantrum now and then.

Lin: Well, I am the complete opposite of all of his former girlfriends in regard to my looks as well. He was the taller one, in most cases they were blond, again tiny, small, thin ... you get the picture ^.^ Most of them were a lot like drama queens, if you want to put it negatively. You could also say that they were just a bit bitchy and knew what they wanted even though that changed quite often unfortunately.

Honestly, I don't know why I was chosen in both cases. The whole physical appearance should have been enough to not let them look my way And their taste is so similar, it is scary. I noticed a tendency to look after curvy women, in regard to Lin lately. Don't know where this comes from.
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  #3  
Old 07-07-2012, 08:30 PM
his1911 his1911 is offline
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We joke about that around here!
my oso usually goes for pretty guys with long flowing hair who wear kilts! (Still wondering why she picked me! Lol)
My wife we tease about having a mental hang up for bisexual disable veterans! ( me and her oso qualify for that!)
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Old 07-07-2012, 10:00 PM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is online now
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My boyfriend has always gone for the innocent, girl next door types, usually petite, small "wall mounts" as my ex said.

My husband tends to go for the "slutty", "party girl", big boobs, small waist look.

Although, he broke the mold with the last one, who was so much like me, 20 years ago it was bizarre. She was WAY more my boyfriend's type that Maca's. Totally weird.

Anyway, it does tend to create some conflict, because we're so family oriented and he wants a long-term relationship, but the girls he generally notices are looking for a good time and wouldn't fit in with us AT ALL.
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Old 07-07-2012, 11:14 PM
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Arrowbound Arrowbound is offline
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My SO generally hasn't deviated from anyone that is physically similar to me: well-endowed, average height, dark. That's his ideal. All of his exes but the one just before me have had all of those attributes. He's open to all races, and skintones, but he does have a preference with regards to things like curves (a must). As for anything else, they can't be too sensitive, or easily offended, or religious.

He has run into a lot of immature, wishy-washy older AND younger women though, which I know has been disappointing. Out of all of them I've only liked one, and even she ended up going on some rant against poly one day after they had stopped communicating.
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Old 07-08-2012, 12:59 AM
Tonberry Tonberry is offline
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Seamus's physical type is short and big, especially with red hair.
However, he also is attracted to people he loves, and repusled by people he dislikes. So while I'm not his type (while neither tall nor thin, I'm taller and thinner than his type), he's definitely extremely attracted to me.
So I don't feel any negative emotions about it. If he obviously wasn't attracted to me, I might feel bad that I'm not his type. As it is, I only noticed because he kept being attracted to the same kind of females, and I don't look like any of them, so I was surprised.
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Old 07-08-2012, 05:23 PM
AutumnalTone AutumnalTone is offline
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I know what Curly says is her type--and it distinctly isn't me! When we were first corresponding (met via Yahoo Personals), she sent a message that described me to a "t"--as *not* her type. I giggled about it and then forgot it until after we started dating; she offered an apology for sending that message because she was mortified at the thought she'd hurt my feelings. She married me, so I can't say that her type preferences are that strong.

As for me, I can describe my preferences and then point out that most of the women with whom I've been involved don't come anywhere close, physically.
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Old 07-08-2012, 05:46 PM
Vinccenzo Vinccenzo is offline
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I don't really notice a physical type so much as a level of dysfunction and neediness about 85% of the time. He really likes those fixer uppers.
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Old 07-09-2012, 02:09 AM
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Arrowbound Arrowbound is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Vinccenzo View Post
I don't really notice a physical type so much as a level of dysfunction and neediness about 85% of the time. He really likes those fixer uppers.
LMAO! I spit out my water on that one.
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Old 07-09-2012, 11:58 AM
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JJ doesn't have another partner besides me, but looking at the women he finds interesting/pretty, they seem quite different from me. They're mostly classical beauties whereas I look more eccentric. I'm short and curvy and I have piercings, tattoos and a constantly changing, usually short, hair. Also, the other women are usually older than me, closer to JJ's own age or even older than him. I'm 6 years younger than him. This doesn't really bother me, because I'm confident in how I look. If he stays with me, he must be somewhat attracted to me, so I don't mind that he likes other types as well.

Rory's other partner is a man so it's difficult to compare. But I think her taste in women is really varied. When we look at random women together, we do find quite a lot of things we both like, but when it comes to women she's actually interested in, there really isn't a physical type. They've all (that I know of) been quite different. I think for her it really is more about what's on the inside, more so than for anyone else I know, myself included.
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