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Old 07-04-2012, 01:17 AM
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SexyPixie SexyPixie is offline
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Default Hi from SexyPixie

Hello poly people,

A bit about me...

I've been married 20 years this July.

I am in a polyamorous marriage after being raised in a very religious organization (LDS / Mormon).

I have not had 'successful' relationships outside of my marriage.

I struggle with my husband's girlfriend relationship, specifically the romantic part of their relationship. I feel like I didn't sign up for this and that it's been put upon me and I struggle with keeping it going; I often feel like I don't want it in my life but I also want to give to him and allow him to be his real self.

I hope to chat with others who have had struggles with 'poly' and to learn more about other's journey's.

xx
SexyPixie
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Old 07-04-2012, 05:54 AM
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ImaginaryIllusion ImaginaryIllusion is offline
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Welcome to the Forum.

I'm curious about how you would define "successful"?
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Old 07-05-2012, 12:26 AM
dingedheart dingedheart is offline
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Hi and welcome...

How long have you been in this type of relationship.

How many outside relationships have you had? Was there any common reason they ended?
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Old 07-05-2012, 05:27 AM
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SexyPixie SexyPixie is offline
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I had a boyfriend who was the husband of my husband's current girlfriend. It lasted about 3 months. I had a girlfriend for about a month. There are no similarities as to why these relationships ended no. The girlfriend couldn't handle that I was poly or married she wanted to be my one and only and she was really lesbian not bisexual.
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Old 07-05-2012, 05:31 AM
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SexyPixie SexyPixie is offline
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Successful I think I was trying to make the point when I wrote that word. That I have been alone for the better part of my open marriage. The relationships were successful in the sense that I had fun and am grateful that I had them.
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Old 07-05-2012, 02:09 PM
dingedheart dingedheart is offline
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How did you come to opening up your marriage ?

How long has it been open ?

Why did it end with the BF?
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Old 07-10-2012, 02:18 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SexyPixie View Post
I have not had 'successful' relationships outside of my marriage.

I struggle with my husband's girlfriend relationship, specifically the romantic part of their relationship. I feel like I didn't sign up for this and that it's been put upon me and I struggle with keeping it going; I often feel like I don't want it in my life but I also want to give to him and allow him to be his real self.
My husband has been going through a somewhat similar situation. He has had a handful of short-lived friend w/benefit type of relationships but nothing that has the same romantic involvement as what I share with my boyfriend and it has caused him some hurt feelings, jealousy, envy and stressed our relationship at times. Neither of us were specifically looking for romantic relationships but it's a chance we took when we opened up our marriage. I didn't mean to fall in love with my b/f, it just happened.

Because I love my husband dearly and can appreciate how he feels, I have been patient and have done all I can to help make him more comfortable (limiting the frequency of my visits with my b/f, offering a lot of reassurance and affection at home, talking through his jealousy and giving him my assurances I wasn't leaving him, etc...).

But it's taking a long time...he still has some struggles after over a year, almost a year and a half really.. At some point, I have to say I've done all I can and HE has to work the rest of the way and find a better way to deal with his feelings, because in poly, it doesn't always work out that everyone has secondaries at the same time. Would be ideal, but it's not reality.

Later down the road things could be reversed and then I'll have to 'deal'...I can only hope he'll be as patient with me.
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