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Old 04-13-2010, 08:15 PM
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Default not sure what to do

Ok my wife and I got a girlfriend and then about a month into the relationship my wife calls it off. I know its simply due to her letting her upbringing bother her and all three of us would love to be together as well as I love my girlfriend but I also love my wife. I don't know what to do I miss my girlfriends touch so much but I don't want to loose my wife because of her confusion
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Old 04-13-2010, 11:06 PM
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Listen and talk.

That's what you do.

LISTEN and TALK.
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Old 04-13-2010, 11:12 PM
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Yes, This much i know. I just had to voice it really. Sometimes it can be so frustrating. I know in my heart I am polly and I do love my wife dearly and want to see her happy. I guess I just must work on my patients. Even if it means loosing my girlfriend I would do that for my wife. Its not that my heart would not be broken if she dose decide to move on and forget us but I must be patient.
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Old 04-13-2010, 11:17 PM
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The key is to (without blame) identify the fears.

I was raised with a STRONG personal faith in God.
Still have it-and still poly.

I read an article on lovemore.com in the last magazine they had on there. It was about the Bible, God etc.

Where does it say that GOD SAYS loving more than one person is WRONG? (clue, it doesn't)

The critical part of maturing in our lives is the point where we look at all we've been taught and we dissect it in order to identify what IS true for us and what IS NOT.

Sounds like your wife has hit that time, it's not easy-but it's VERY worth looking into.


Also-a lot of people seem to have a REAL personal struggle with worrying about what "everyone else" thinks.

I suggest two books-neither are about poly-but they pertain to relationships and ourselves.

Living Happily Ever After-Marsha Sinetar
The Seven Levels of Intimacy-Matthew Kelly

Great real life suggestions for resolving the issues that cause us to let fear control our actions.
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Old 04-13-2010, 11:22 PM
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Thank you so much my wife was raised like you and I thank you for the books as she is an avid reader. Yes I also have great faith in God but i found the truth and now I cannot go back to the lie.
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Old 04-14-2010, 01:51 AM
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I have a great faith as well.
And I won't go back-furthermore-I don't believe that it's what God wants for me or intends for me.

Not only that but the last two Sunday services were AWESOME and this last one was great when I got to tell my husband to be sure his partner (my boyfriend who he is NOT involved with sexually) was taking good notes on the responsibilities of a husband......
(service was on the responsibilities of a husband)

Because they both hold that responsibility as far as I'm concerned.

If you want to humor yourself. REALLY read 1st Corinthians and count how many times Paul writes "I say, not the Lord" before going on about something (virginity, marriage etc) there are a number of times. You might find it interesting to read.
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