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View Poll Results: How much of your leisure time is spent interacting with other poly folk?
0-20% 18 60.00%
21-40% 5 16.67%
41-60% 2 6.67%
61-80% 3 10.00%
81-100% 2 6.67%
Voters: 30. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 06-15-2012, 01:44 PM
hyperskeptic hyperskeptic is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 451
Default In what social circles do you move?

A thread on another forum has brought up a question that has troubled my mind from time to time.

People who think of themselves as polyamorous constitute a small minority in societies in which monogamy is entrenched in attitudes and institutions. Not only that, but we are a minority that would be reviled more than almost any other, were we to come to the attention of many in the mainstream.

There may be a tendency to gravitate toward one another, to seek one another out for mutual support and mutual protection, to circle the wagons.

Add to this the fact that life in modern societies has become more and more about privacy, less and less about community engagement. We have reduced most of our incidental interactions with others to economic transactions, and those increasingly at an anonymous distance. Socially, we have retreated first into our living rooms and private clubs, then into social media and various online cliques.

In some ways of telling the story, polyamory really only got started as this kind of chosen community: people sought and found one another online, and networks began to form. This forum is an example.

Here's what I wonder, though. I know a handful of people whose leisre-time social circles - that is, social connections outside family, work, and school - consist almost entirely of people who are both poly and kinky.

That's a small sample, but I wonder if it is indicative of a trend, perhaps even an innate tendency in polyamory as it has developed.

So, thinking about your social interactions other than those associated with family, work, and school, and aside from time spent with partners/lovers/SOs, how much of your social time is spent interacting with other poly folk, whether online or in person?

This is an entirely unscientific poll, probably ill-structured and otherwise flawed, but I hope it might get an interesting conversation going.
the cake is a lie

Last edited by hyperskeptic; 06-15-2012 at 01:54 PM.
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Old 06-15-2012, 02:37 PM
PinkDragon PinkDragon is offline
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 90

I'd have to say about 5% of my time is spent with other poly folk and that's only online. It's not like there's a huge pile of poly folk in my little burg.
Pinky, 41, f, bi. Married to Bear, 42, m, straight.
Not dating anyone right now.

I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity.--EAP
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Old 06-15-2012, 06:57 PM
feelyunicorn feelyunicorn is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Brazil
Posts: 151

None. I have gone to one poly meeting, and I met a cute girl there. There was a bi guy checking me out as well, I guess, but I was not physically attracted to him.

I`m supposed to go out to "teach her pool" this weekend, but I haven`t contacted her. I`m kind of freaking out. It would be my first date with someone who self-identifies as poly, and who`s already got a relationship.

The fact that I`m more of an open relationships guy, rather than poly, and therefore lean more toward a DADT and NSA background, and she`s so vocal about the L-bomb, kept me from contacting her thus far.

But, I think I will. She`s pretty. A thread on that later.
Independent, sex-positive, bi-curious, private, atheist, elitist, athletic dude.

Last edited by feelyunicorn; 06-15-2012 at 07:33 PM.
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Old 06-15-2012, 07:14 PM
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RfromRMC RfromRMC is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Raleigh/Durham, North Carolina
Posts: 239

Outside of work and family? Hmmmmm....

I would have to say my circle of friends is currently almost half Poly folks. I might have a slight bit more non-poly friends, if you're talking pure numbers. But if accounting for frequency of how much I hang out with whom, then a slight edge to the Poly's.
Just Rob now. That's all. .

In North Carolina? Check out: facebook.com/ncPoly
In Raleigh/Durham? Check out www.meetup.com/TrianglePolyamory
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Old 06-15-2012, 07:38 PM
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Alleycat Alleycat is offline
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 80

There's a few poly folk locally, but I move in different social circles than they do. We have some overlap within the BDSM community but don't really have much to do with each other. The local poly group also tends to run events that conflict with my work schedule so I normally don't make it out to their meetings/munches/ect.
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Old 06-15-2012, 08:36 PM
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RainyGrlJenny RainyGrlJenny is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Seattle
Posts: 254

Very little. My boyfriend's wife and her boyfriends are it, and I very rarely socialize with them other then to say hi if we run into each other at his home.

I used to go to the local poly potluck/meeting occasionally, but it's been years since I've done that. None of my friends/family are poly, and Fly (live-in boyfriend) doesn't really do sustained relationships. He's invited his playmates over once in a while if we're having a big BBQ or house party, but I don't always know who he's sleeping/slept with, and most of them identify as single or open, not poly.

Online is pretty much it, and "online poly" for me consists of this forum
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