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Old 06-06-2012, 11:03 PM
Gentlenest's Avatar
Gentlenest Gentlenest is offline
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Victoria, BC, Canada
Posts: 8
Talking NRE and new beginnings

Hi all!

For the first time, I have started a new relationship that involved me explaining to him how polyamory works! I'm sure my explanation was far from perfect, but he is just getting out of a failed marriage, and conflicted about another girl he is interested in, and was worried I would be angry (this was our first date ).

And I got to say "Err...no, I'm polyamorous. I don't mind at all!" Which made him all confused, so I had to explain to him a bit about how it works, and how open communication is KEY. He wants to give it a try. (which is very cool, because otherwise I couldn't date him, even though I'm single right now. I just don't want to go back there.)

So, I'm feeling really pumped and happy now, so I just thought I would share!
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Old 06-07-2012, 02:03 AM
JaneQSmythe JaneQSmythe is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Pennsyl-tucky
Posts: 1,851

Woo-hoo! Sounds like this was a perfect set-up for the poly discussion - he was conflicted, you said "you know you don't have to be?", out in the open on the first date. Don't know the probability that his other interest will feel the same way ...but you two sound off to a good start.
Me: poly bi female, in an "open-but-not-looking" V-plus with -
MrS: hetero polyflexible male, live-in husband (24+ yrs)
Dude: hetero poly male, live-in boyfriend (6+ yrs) and MrS's BFF
SLeW: platonic hetero girlfriend and BFF
MrClean: hetero mono male, almost lover-friend to me, FWBs to SLeW
+ "others" = FBs, FWBs, lover-friends, platonic G/BFs, boytoys, etc.

My poly blogs here:
The Journey of JaneQSmythe
The Notebook of JaneQSmythe
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Old 06-07-2012, 04:32 AM
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Derbylicious Derbylicious is offline
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Join Date: May 2009
Location: Victoria BC
Posts: 1,603

Woo Hoo on a sucessful date
Everything will be ok in the end. If it's not ok it's not the end.
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Old 06-07-2012, 06:32 AM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 10,083

I actually prefer dating guys like that, who don't want exclusivity but have never heard of polyamory. I don't usually even use the "p word" with them. I just talk about my desire not to be exclusive. Sometimes the guys I meet who are experienced polys are wrapped up to much in jargon and protocol, and I like creating new dynamics.
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia

Click here for a Solo Poly view on hierarchical relationships
Click here to find out why the Polyamorous Misanthrope is feeling disgusted.
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Old 06-08-2012, 03:29 AM
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Gentlenest Gentlenest is offline
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Victoria, BC, Canada
Posts: 8
Default WooHoo :)

3rd date today and still going strong.
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Old 06-08-2012, 12:09 PM
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CielDuMatin CielDuMatin is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Upstate New York, USA
Posts: 1,467

I have had some good times, but a ton of drama with folks who hadn't heard of poly. They all ended up deciding that poly wasn't for them and they wanted monogamy and, since it couldn't be with me, they either ended the relationship or cheated on me with the person they thought they wanted to be with (it has happened twice now). My most successful to-date (still going strong!) knew all about poly and wasn't in any doubt.

But those are just my experiences - sounds like you are potentially on to a great thing!

"Listen, or your tongue will make you deaf." - Native American Proverb
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