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Old 05-31-2012, 05:34 PM
negashadow negashadow is offline
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Bragg Creek Alberta
Posts: 1
Default Curious about the life


I'm an 18m living in Alberta. I wouldn't say that I'm poly, having only first heard about it a couple months ago, but I'm considering it, and would like more information.

Questions can basically be summed up as the following:

What is it?

How does one get into it (ex. how might one broach the topic with someone else)

How does one do it?

Any sort of help would be greatly appreciated.
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Old 05-31-2012, 05:53 PM
CielDuMatin's Avatar
CielDuMatin CielDuMatin is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Upstate New York, USA
Posts: 1,467

Welcome to the forum!

There is a ton of stuff to read here - most of it unfiltered - you can search for tags when you know what sort of thing you are looking for. Hard to know where to start, though, so may I recommend this excellent set of articles: http://www.xeromag.com/fvpoly.html That one page, without following any of the links, gives you a ton of stuff.

Working out whether poly is for you, and which type of poly suits you (because there are many types) is a journey unto itself. If you have specific questions, please feel free to start a thread on them.

"Listen, or your tongue will make you deaf." - Native American Proverb
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Old 06-01-2012, 07:35 AM
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kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Yelm, Washington
Posts: 14,766

Hi N shadow,
Welcome to our forum.

What is polyamory? Well, in http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showt...5366#post15366 it's (n):
1: the state or practice of having more than one open romantic relationship at a time.
2: romantically loving more than one person at a time.
3: responsible non-monogamy based on honest open communication and conscious choices.

Beyond that, you will hear the word be the subject of many debates.

How does one get into it (e.g. how might one broach the topic with someone else)? Some people wait a few dates and then (if it looks like it's going anywhere), say, "I need to tell you. I'm polyamorous. Do you know what that means?" Maybe the other person will run away screaming, but maybe they'll stick around and be cool, who knows. Another approach is to get to know someone strictly as a platonic friend, then (in some conversation where it comes up) tell them about your poly status and how it works. That way, there's no "pressure on them to accept it," and if the friendship does develop into a romance, they'll already know how they feel about the poly thing.

How does one do it? Ah, that could be the world's largest answer ... We have this whole website to help us know how to do it. Among the biggest parts of the answer, are, one does it (preferably) with generous communication and totally transparent honesty. One does it with a willingness to let others be themselves, and to let the relationship/s be what it is. One does it with an ever-accumulated base of knowledge (from books, this website, etc.).

Hope this helps!
Kevin T.
Love means never having to say, "Put down that meat cleaver!"
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