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  #1  
Old 05-24-2012, 04:14 PM
zephyrrine zephyrrine is offline
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Default Sound other wives be compensated?

I know that polyamory and plyg are technically different but I feel that some of you might have a good opinion of this. My question is should the other wives (sister wives) in polygamous marriages be compensated if things don't work out?
Before you answer I will ask you to go to this link (http://zephyrrine.wordpress.com/2012...esnt-work-out/)for the post I wrote about my thoughts on this in my blog. Its long and I don't feel like rewriting ,ect.
My answer is yes unless they decided to up and abandon the family or it is decided otherwise in previous discussions.
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  #2  
Old 05-24-2012, 07:38 PM
JaneQSmythe JaneQSmythe is offline
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I'm not a huge fan of alimony/palimony myself. Having said that - obviously any man or women, married or not, has an obligation to provide for children that they have produced.

There are few ways that I could see non-legal spouses being entitled to money/compensation - such as there is a pre-nup agreement (or its equivalent) in place, otherwise I see it as the non-working spouses responsibility to make sure that their future financial needs are addressed. For instance, s/he could require that a certain percentage of the household income be directed into an account in his/her name during the course of their relationship as compensation for the "stay at home" duties they assume - it would then be his/her call as to what to do with this money (spend it or save it).

Nobody likes to consider what happens if a relationship dissolves - but if people make assumptions (i.e. "he will take care of me for the rest of my life") then THEY are responsible for the consequences of those assumptions should they prove false. We are all adults - we are all responsible for our own actions. Failing to take action is a decision in itself.

JaneQ
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  #3  
Old 05-25-2012, 01:47 AM
AutumnalTone AutumnalTone is offline
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Nope.
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When speaking of various forms of non-monogamy...it ain't poly if you're just fucking around.

While polyamory, open relationships, and swinging are all distinctly different approaches to non-monogamy, they are not mutually exlusive. Folks can, and some do, engage in more than one of them at a time--and it's all good.
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Old 05-25-2012, 08:19 PM
dingedheart dingedheart is offline
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So one of the arguments for legalization is to force responsibility of off spring. Wouldn't DNA and paternity suits do that already. And knowing the current system isn't that the risk these second, third , forth "wives" take. Why couldn't they take turns ....every 2 yrs divorce 1 and marry another... revolving like duck duck goose. The one that's married to the guy when he dies wins....or loses depending how you want to look at it.


I say NO
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  #5  
Old 05-25-2012, 10:16 PM
km34 km34 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dingedheart View Post
So one of the arguments for legalization is to force responsibility of off spring. Wouldn't DNA and paternity suits do that already. And knowing the current system isn't that the risk these second, third , forth "wives" take. Why couldn't they take turns ....every 2 yrs divorce 1 and marry another... revolving like duck duck goose. The one that's married to the guy when he dies wins....or loses depending how you want to look at it.


I say NO
That's a lot of money to spend over the long run for marriage licenses and whatever it costs to file a divorce. Since most of these families have a lot of kids plus the multiple adults to support, how are they supposed to afford all that paper pushing?

On the real topic, no. I agree about paternity suits forcing fathers (and in some cases mothers) to be responsible for their kids.
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  #6  
Old 05-25-2012, 11:34 PM
zephyrrine zephyrrine is offline
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so pretty much all of you agree that if a woman who is suppose to married to a man is cast a side she shouldn't be helped. I'm not saying monthly alimony payments, but at least a simple here is some money to help you out or here is a plain ticket back home.
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  #7  
Old 05-25-2012, 11:52 PM
km34 km34 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by zephyrrine View Post
so pretty much all of you agree that if a woman who is suppose to married to a man is cast a side she shouldn't be helped. I'm not saying monthly alimony payments, but at least a simple here is some money to help you out or here is a plain ticket back home.
If she chose to marry the man, she put herself in that position. She could have made sure she legal documents in place to cover herself or gotten a bank account that only she could access set up to make sure she wouldn't be stranded if the relationship ended.

Now, in situations where underage girls are sold off and forced to marry men, there is a-whole-nother legal issue and they sure as hell deserve some retribution.

Our choices lead us places. Choosing to put yourself in a situation where you have no legal protection is still a choice. Why should a man (albeit an asshole) be punished because he found a woman or women who would willingly enter into a situation where he has that power over them? Does it suck, sure, but just like he chose to be a dick and throw someone out of his house, she chose to ignore the danger of it when she entered into the situation.
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  #8  
Old 05-27-2012, 08:56 PM
AutumnalTone AutumnalTone is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by zephyrrine View Post
so pretty much all of you agree that if a woman who is suppose to married to a man is cast a side she shouldn't be helped.
Here's the thing: she is responsible for her own situation--that's part of being an adult. If she places herself in a situation where she is entirely dependent on somebody else for everything, then she has to be prepared for that to apply in all circumstances. If she doesn't want to be dependent on somebody else for everything, then she can act to make certain she isn't.
__________________
When speaking of various forms of non-monogamy...it ain't poly if you're just fucking around.

While polyamory, open relationships, and swinging are all distinctly different approaches to non-monogamy, they are not mutually exlusive. Folks can, and some do, engage in more than one of them at a time--and it's all good.
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