Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > General Poly Discussions

Notices

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 05-01-2012, 06:09 PM
CielDuMatin's Avatar
CielDuMatin CielDuMatin is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Upstate New York, USA
Posts: 1,456
Default Poly and the Military

So a post in the D&F/NA boards got me thinking, and even though I posted the question there, not everyone frequents those boards, so thought I would aks it here.

Are there are folks on here who are active military? (Failing that, anyone who knows enough about the topic to contribute).

What is the military's attitude towards polyamory? I know they take a dim view from a security situation when it comes to extra-marital relationships - honey trap risk and the like. Can you be "out" as a poly person in the military, do they have a "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy, or is it an "Ask, and lie about, and hope you don't get caught" policy?

Even more - I'd be interested to know the different attitudes with different country's military policies.
__________________
Please check out The Birdcage - an open, friendly Polyamory forum for all parts of New York State
http://www.thebirdcage.org/

"Listen, or your tongue will make you deaf." - Native American Proverb
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 05-01-2012, 10:38 PM
ThatGirlInGray ThatGirlInGray is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Northern Cali
Posts: 552
Default

Talked to a friend who was in the U.S. Army for 10 years about this, and he says being "out" as poly would cost one their security clearance and could end one's military career. It could also limit private-sector but military-related opportunities. But he also said that, while rarely enforced, anything except "missionary" is also technically a no-no, so there's always a convenient question of what would be enforced and what wouldn't.
__________________
~~~~~~~~~
Pan Female, Hinge in a V between my mono (straight) husband, Monochrome and my poly (pan) partner, ThatGuyInBlack
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 05-02-2012, 11:28 PM
BrigidsDaughter's Avatar
BrigidsDaughter BrigidsDaughter is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Upstate NY
Posts: 822
Default

While Runic Wolf was active military, we knew a few couples who were swingers or open, but it was definitely something you kept under wraps. One was the head of Fort Riley Pagan Association's husband, who was bi-sexual. We only found out about it because the wife and I were pregnant together and spent alot of time together while our husbands were in the field.

The wife of one of Runic Wolf's sergeants seduced him a few months before we were married, with her husband's consent and I received an invitation for her and I to fool around, while they watched, once I arrived in town. Both Runic Wolf and his sergeant knew not to say anything or it would be both of their careers and possibly jail time.

While we were stationed in Kansas, we heard of a soldier who got sent to Fort Levenworth for getting a blow job while driving and getting caught. Blow jobs are considered sodomy according to the US Code of Military Justice.
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 05-03-2012, 12:42 AM
RfromRMC's Avatar
RfromRMC RfromRMC is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Raleigh/Durham, North Carolina
Posts: 239
Default

I wouldn't recommend being out as poly at least not using the word...especially if you or a partner is married.

But otherwise, there's probably some things they shrug off if you don't get technical. Like if a guy---unmarried---just hanging with the guys in his unit said "Back in my hometown I have three girlfriends" they'd probably just laugh or even be jealous.
__________________
Just Rob now. That's all. .


In North Carolina? Check out: facebook.com/ncPoly
In Raleigh/Durham? Check out www.meetup.com/TrianglePolyamory
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 05-03-2012, 02:20 AM
ThatGirlInGray ThatGirlInGray is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Northern Cali
Posts: 552
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by RfromRMC View Post
But otherwise, there's probably some things they shrug off if you don't get technical. Like if a guy---unmarried---just hanging with the guys in his unit said "Back in my hometown I have three girlfriends" they'd probably just laugh or even be jealous.
You're probably right, but I wouldn't be so smiley about it. If I, as a woman, said that back home I had three boyfriends I'd be a slut, whore, tease, etc. Yet another example of the sexism still in force.
__________________
~~~~~~~~~
Pan Female, Hinge in a V between my mono (straight) husband, Monochrome and my poly (pan) partner, ThatGuyInBlack
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 05-07-2012, 03:12 AM
Fobwatch's Avatar
Fobwatch Fobwatch is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Bristol, UK
Posts: 15
Default

Within the British military I havent heard of there being any mention. On an application at least Ive only seen any questions on whether there are any family members dependent on you. With sexuality at least it is considered an irrelevance

One question I will ask is how military families interact with others as they seem to be a quite close knit group and I assume would notice.
__________________
I am not young enough to know everything - Oscar Wilde
Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
dadt, military

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 10:41 AM.