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Old 03-31-2012, 08:54 PM
starfish07 starfish07 is offline
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 6
Default Is polyandry less common than multiple wives?

Most poly relationships I hear about on the forum are the ones with multiple wives or females. Is it less common to have 2 males and 1 female or 3 males and 1 female in a relationship?

I've heard and read about the men in the Himalayas that share a wife. I haven't heard about any other groups.

Do you have any advice on where and how to go about finding something like that?
I've tried the craigslist thing but they are mostly looking for threesome one night stand type of thing, not a long term relationship.
Same thing with the gay/bi bar in town.

Last edited by starfish07; 03-31-2012 at 09:05 PM.
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Old 03-31-2012, 10:26 PM
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drtalon drtalon is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Raleigh, NC
Posts: 112

In my experience it's just as common for a woman to have multiple partners as it is for a man to have multiple partners.

The best advice for finding local poly people and community is at the bottom of Alan's event page at http://polyevents.blogspot.com/#localgroups
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Old 03-31-2012, 11:28 PM
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AnnabelMore AnnabelMore is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 2,285

If you're looking, as a woman, to have multiple male partners, that is not at all uncommon. If you're looking for a MFM triad where all partners are intimately involved with each other, that seems rarer. So, which are you after, or would either be cool?
Me, 30ish bi female, been doing solo poly for roughly 5 years. Gia, Clay, and Pike, my partners. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler.
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Old 04-01-2012, 12:50 AM
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StarTeddy StarTeddy is offline
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 55

The impression that I get form this forum is that MFM is more common...though maybe it's bias, or that women in that arrangement are more likely to post on forums or something.
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Old 04-01-2012, 01:23 AM
Saide Saide is offline
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Toronto
Posts: 5
Default Wondering about polyandry too

After one marriage and a couple unsatisfying monogamous relationships, I recalled a time in my life where I had three lovers in my life. And while it might not be defined as polyandrous, it was the one time in my life I felt content emotionally, sexually and spiritually. None of the men knew about the other, they did not ask nor did I volunteer. For all intents and purposes we were all "single" and enjoyed spending time together practicing safe sex. All three men had different schedules so there were no issues regarding time spent together. Occasionally, there would be convergence when all three men would want to see me on the same day. Knowing they would not be comfortable in the type of threesome I wanted to have, I would see them separately. Several years later I realize this is what I want; something similar - like a V. I guess I just do not know where to begin. Any suggestions?
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Old 04-01-2012, 01:51 AM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 10,083

To me, it seems backwards to have a relationship configuration in mind and then look for people to fit into that. Being open to having polyamorous relationships doesn't mean that all potential lovers are like jigsaw puzzle pieces. I'm not saying I don't have my own ideals I would like to see happen for myself. However, in terms of relationships, I think the important thing is to start with the people first. Be open to meeting people, getting to know people, put yourself in social situations, have a dating profile online, whatever, and then see what happens. Yes, let people know that you don't want a monogamous situation, but you can't create a dynamic (vee, triad, etc.) out of thin air and insert human beings into it. Be open to surprises. See what kind of poly configuration comes out of the dynamics that naturally develop with the people you date, find yourself attracted to, and enjoying yourself with.
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia

Click here for a Solo Poly view on hierarchical relationships
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plural marriage, polyandry, polygamy, vee

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