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Old 02-26-2012, 07:38 AM
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tachycardia tachycardia is offline
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Default sexual dysfunction with new partners

Until two months ago, I had been monogamous with a single partner for eleven years since I was seventeen. We recently opened our marriage up, and I've had four new sexual partners. I have been unable to get and maintain a reasonable erection with any of them. I can with myself or my wife any time. I'm only 28. WTF? Anyone else have this problem?

Last edited by tachycardia; 02-26-2012 at 07:41 AM.
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Old 02-26-2012, 08:49 AM
dingedheart dingedheart is offline
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I'd say your head and heart are not quite into this new idea. Who's idea was it to open up the marriage? Was this 4 first dates/one night stands? Was drinking involved?
How long did these relationships last?
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Old 02-26-2012, 02:55 PM
islandgy9 islandgy9 is offline
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Hey Schismist,
If these four experiences were 'first dates'/ solely implied sexual encounters, perhaps you simply need to spend some time getting to know your new friends, or maybe start with one and get to know her.
Opening your relationship goes against our societies and cultural dictations of how relationships 'should' be, I understand you and your wife are in agreement on opening your marriage, but maybe you are the kind of guy that takes his vows to heart so to speak. Perhaps you are influenced by what our society says we should and shouldn't do.
If 'opening' your marriage is what YOU really want, and IF intimacy is even truly wanted... than you may need to establish the relationship first.
Also, maybe just having a close relationship in addition to your wife may be all you need.

The most important thing is openness with communication with your wife. Remember... Deception destroys.
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Old 02-26-2012, 03:31 PM
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tachycardia tachycardia is offline
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LOL. No, dingedheart, that is definitely not the problem (although I did have at least one drink in each case). The non-monogamy idea was mine and I suggested it about six years ago a few months before I asked her to marry me. We've just been doing the baby thing for a while, and beating the subject to a bloody equine pulp before taking the plunge. I'm thrilled .

islandgy9 is probably closer to the mark. Two were first dates, two were second dates. The problem did happen twice with one of my dates.

I am looking for a relationship. Sex and emotional intimacy are pretty connected for me. Before these adventures I'd had only three sex partners in my life. I had some performance issues back then, too, but I had always chocked it up to being a teenager. I think it's probably just too much anticipation.

Here's the thing. I'm really smitten with the latest one, and I don't want this to continue to be a problem and make things weird. I was able to satisfy her in other ways, but it's still awkward.

I'm really hoping to hear from someone who had similar problems when he first started.
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Old 02-26-2012, 06:29 PM
dingedheart dingedheart is offline
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well then the problem seems simple ...slow down there shooter. Let the intimacy build. Also, this is right in DR Ruth's or similar experts wheelhouses look it up there. Is Ruth still alive? How about trying one of those supplements (penis pills) to get you over the "hump" so to speak.
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Old 02-26-2012, 07:41 PM
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tachycardia tachycardia is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dingedheart View Post
...slow down there shooter.
Are we from a different generation? I met each of them on OKC, wherein they all answered the match questions saying that they expect it would take one to two dates to be sexually intimate with someone they really like.

Also, I spent fifteen hours over a week with the one I'm super into before we went to bed. You really don't think that's enough?

I'm considering asking my doctor for a scrip, but I doubt he'd give me one since I'm fine at home.
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