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Old 02-09-2012, 04:42 AM
Pretzels Pretzels is offline
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Default Doctor, doctor!

So, we're going through our second, real illness spread between at least two of the three of us. This time, it's a bad cold complete with sore throat that's kept me (the primary wage-earner who doesn't really get paid for sick days) home from work more or less all week.

All of this got me thinking...how do people here broach the topic of their poly relationships with doctors? Has anyone compiled a directory of LGBT/poly-friendly physicians in any major cities?

I know, in our situation, it would be great to just tell the doctor we've probably all got it and get one script to cover us all. Our family doctor used to do this for my parents and I when I was a kid.
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Old 02-09-2012, 05:16 AM
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NovemberRain NovemberRain is offline
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I was raised in an HMO, and never got the message (from parents or docs or society) that I should keep anything from them. I have a condition that has led me to lots of time in doctor's offices, and a fair share in the ER. I also worked in medicine, granted, as a clerical, but I learned a lot.

I've never hidden anything. When I was living with a woman for the first time, and we were exclusive, my doc kept asking me what I did for birth control. I kept saying I don't need it. Finally, I explained why I didn't need it.

When I received care at the university medical center I worked at, I was a little more shy about telling stuff; then again, I didn't have much to tell then. I have noticed that I tell everything and they seem surprised, but appreciative. (I had two med students, a resident, and a faculty doc at my last female annual. Oh yes, every single one them wanted to examine me. Happy to share. Pass that around.) They expressed their appreciation that I would tell them all that. Hay, I want the best care, they can't give me the best care if they don't know stuff.

All that said, if all you've got is a cold, there isn't a scrip for that. I get really annoyed at the hundred signs in my doc's office that say 'don't take antibiotics if it's a virus' and I tell him my troubles, or that I need a note for work, and he gives me antibiotics. No culture. When I was a kid, they cultured to see if it was bacterial before they gave antibiotics. (and I walked five miles, uphill, both ways, in the snow)(sorry)

If you've got a university medical center, they should be mostly LGBT friendly. If you've got a local LGBT anything, they should have some referrals. It might not be likely to get one for all, but go you if you do!

(I've been home sick for two days, you've got all my sympathies. And if you're interested in natural cures, I personally think GSE (grapefruit seed extract) is a miracle.)
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Old 02-09-2012, 05:28 AM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Originally Posted by NovemberRain View Post
And if you're interested in natural cures, I personally think GSE (grapefruit seed extract) is a miracle.)
Zinc is also great for colds.
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Old 02-09-2012, 05:50 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pretzels View Post
All of this got me thinking...how do people here broach the topic of their poly relationships with doctors? Has anyone compiled a directory of LGBT/poly-friendly physicians in any major cities?
I generally don't get sick. When BrigidsDaugter, Wendigo, or Pretty Lady get sick the other two generally catch it in short order. Of the four of us I've got an iron constitution. If, by some odd chance, I do catch the bug (severe weather changes are about the only thing that phase me) I'm usually down for a few days at most while they can be down for a month or more.

That said, if i ever needed to go to the doctor for that sort of thing I'd not hide a damn thing. Medical professionals have probably seen it all, heard it all, and your case is probably by far more normal then some of the ones they've heard of. Also, in order to get a better view of what's wrong with you, they need a nice full map of places you are likely to of gotten sick from, that includes people you've been swapping bodily fluids with.
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Old 02-09-2012, 01:57 PM
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RfromRMC RfromRMC is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pretzels View Post
Has anyone compiled a directory of LGBT/poly-friendly physicians in any major cities?
Obviously there's no assurance that a gay or gay-friendly doctor will also be poly-friendly but let's just assume that usually it would be the case. (One would hope!)
In that case, here's a provider directory from the GLMA (Gay & Lesbian Medical Association): http://tinyurl.com/23gjlkx
Good luck.
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Old 02-09-2012, 05:19 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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I had a really bad cold/flu/virus last November. Right now, all 3 of my main lovers have colds or are just getting over them. I don't know how I have stayed healthy, unless that last virus really stepped up my immune system.
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Old 02-09-2012, 05:49 PM
Pretzels Pretzels is offline
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I think part of the issue we've been going through as a MFM is that I'm the F and Fs usually go to the doctor sooner than Ms. We just have differing approaches to illness and getting wellness.

In this case, E usually needs to have a major appendage dangling by an artery before he'll even consider seeking medical attention.

That said, this will be my first annual as part of this arrangement. I plan to answer honestly, but I just feel like I don't want to be scolded when making sure everything's all right.
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Old 02-09-2012, 06:09 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pretzels View Post
I just feel like I don't want to be scolded when making sure everything's all right.
People are too afraid of doctors. They are hired hands, like anyone you'd hire to help you, a contractor, a baby sitter, a secretary. Just because they've studied disease and medications does not give them the right to judge you morals and ethics.

And lots of people have multiple sex partners. Lots of people who don't consider themselves to be poly or swingers-- People who are "dating." People who are cheating. No doubt some of the medical staff are "dating" or cheating themselves, or have in the past. As long as you are practicing safer sex with condoms, it's really none of their business.
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Old 02-10-2012, 03:22 PM
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Quote:
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Just because they've studied disease and medications does not give them the right to judge you morals and ethics.
Very very true. However, even if they don't outwardly judge your lifestyle, it might not keep them from making assumptions!

Not necessarily a poly thing, but I did have a bad experience with a doctor who barely listened to my symptoms for less than a minute because he must have picked up on that I was gay, and automatically assumed I had an STD. He just put me on a drug with side-effects that made me feel sicker.
Eventually I found a gay doctor who took the time to discuss the issues and realized that I did NOT have and STD at all, nor anything close to it! Got me on the right Rx and was better in less than two days.

So there's a LOT to be said in finding a doctor that---in addition to not judging you--actually accepts you for who you are.
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Old 02-09-2012, 07:30 PM
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SNeacail SNeacail is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pretzels View Post
I know, in our situation, it would be great to just tell the doctor we've probably all got it and get one script to cover us all. Our family doctor used to do this for my parents and I when I was a kid.
Unless you are ALL "official patients" of the same doctor, they probably won't, at least here in California (then again we have some really stupid rules and the highest insurance rates in the country). It's only in the last few years, that I can get any doctor to give me a prescription based on a phone conversation vs making an appointment, which might be 3 days out.
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