Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > General Poly Discussions


Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 12-28-2011, 06:55 PM
mgreen1104 mgreen1104 is offline
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Ne
Posts: 21
Default really disconcerning

Hey guys,

So im on like week two of this, and i know its still early, but the problem is..there's some shallow people out there. Ive tried the online route, but the minute i send my picture they say thanks but no thanks. My wife says don't worry about it , if those people are shallow, they are not worth my time. Its just really disheartening, and makes me want to give up. I don't want to do that though, i really care about this lifestyle and dont want to be steered by just cruel people. If you have any advice i would really appreciate it.
Reply With Quote
Old 12-28-2011, 07:21 PM
RfromRMC's Avatar
RfromRMC RfromRMC is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Raleigh/Durham, North Carolina
Posts: 239

That's more of a thing you find with the dating scene---particularly online---regardless of polyamorous or monogamous. Ask just about any single person out there regardless of whether they are poly or mono and they are dealing with the same thing.
At first you don't succeed, try try again. You have to dig thru a lot of crappy rock before you find a diamond.
Just Rob now. That's all. .

In North Carolina? Check out: facebook.com/ncPoly
In Raleigh/Durham? Check out www.meetup.com/TrianglePolyamory
Reply With Quote
Old 12-28-2011, 07:22 PM
mgreen1104 mgreen1104 is offline
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Ne
Posts: 21

thank you r i wont get down about it, its just getting knocked down and picked back up again
Reply With Quote
Old 12-29-2011, 04:28 PM
Derbylicious's Avatar
Derbylicious Derbylicious is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Victoria BC
Posts: 1,603

Yes people are shallow and yes it sucks. The thing is that these shallow people aren't compatible with you since (I assume) you aren't a shallow person. So it's better to find out sooner rather than later that this isn't someone you want to be involved with anyway.
Everything will be ok in the end. If it's not ok it's not the end.
Reply With Quote
Old 12-29-2011, 05:03 PM
nycindie's Avatar
nycindie nycindie is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 8,787

It doesn't necessarily mean that someone is shallow if they turn you down after seeing your picture. Many people have very specific "types" that they know they are attracted to, and that's just how it goes. I don't think it's shallow to acknowledge that one is not attracted to everyone. But make sure you are sending pics that show you at your best. Sometimes there are other elements in the picture that turn people off.
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia "

Click here for a Solo Poly view on hierarchical relationships
Click here to find out why the Polyamorous Misanthrope is feeling disgusted.
Reply With Quote
Old 12-29-2011, 07:01 PM
BigGuy's Avatar
BigGuy BigGuy is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: East Central Illinois
Posts: 118

OKC has a really interesting app that will tell you which picture of yours is the best received demographically. I was surprised by its suggestion for me.

I believe you don't even have to post the pictures to your account, if you don't want to.

Edit: I found it helpful, with me being an ogre and all...
Me: 48 - Married, straight, male
Shiela: My wife.
Suzanne: My FWB
Adam: Shiela's LDR

Last edited by BigGuy; 12-29-2011 at 07:10 PM.
Reply With Quote

meeting people, online dating

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

All times are GMT. The time now is 09:24 PM.