Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > Poly Relationships Corner

Notices

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 12-12-2011, 12:22 AM
ashylove ashylove is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 15
Default how...

so i have seen it mentioned that you should move the speed of the slower person... how do you do that when you are totally dealing with nre? it is very hard to not get ahead of ourselves.
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 12-12-2011, 01:14 AM
nycindie's Avatar
nycindie nycindie is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 7,237
Default

You use self-control and have respect for everyone involved.
__________________
The world opens up... when you do.

Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me. ~Bryan Ferry
"Love is that condition in which another person's happiness is essential to your own." ~Robert Heinlein
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 12-12-2011, 01:29 AM
ashylove ashylove is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 15
Default

ok, that was probably a stupid question... um... is there any way to make it easier for them? especially since it is insanely long distance, and they dont have normal ways of communicating. right now they are just emailing and facebooking. we want them to be at least comfortable as friends especially since both of them are realitivly just starting out and dont know what they want out of this yet.
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 12-12-2011, 01:31 AM
nycindie's Avatar
nycindie nycindie is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 7,237
Default

Who is the "they" you are talking about in relation to you?
__________________
The world opens up... when you do.

Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me. ~Bryan Ferry
"Love is that condition in which another person's happiness is essential to your own." ~Robert Heinlein
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 12-12-2011, 01:33 AM
ashylove ashylove is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 15
Default

'they' are my husband and my bf's wife...
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 12-12-2011, 03:42 AM
AnnabelMore's Avatar
AnnabelMore AnnabelMore is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 2,233
Default

Context is probably needed here. Does one or more of the four of you feel like the long-distance, could-maybe-become-a-couple pair needs to get to a certain point before the close-by, fast-becoming-a-couple pair can move forward? If so, why? If not, there's no reason to go slower than the commonsense guidelines for dealing with nre like a sane person with other obligations would normally dictate.
__________________
Me, 30ish bi female, been doing solo poly for roughly 5 years. Gia, Clay, and Pike, my partners. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 08:21 PM.