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Old 12-03-2009, 10:27 PM
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Default Polyamory and Oppression

Oppression:

1.The exercise of authority or power in a burdensom, cruel or unjust manner.
2. an act or instance of oppressing.
3.The state of being oppressed.
4. The feeling of being heavily burdened, mentally or physically, by troubles, adverse conditions, anxiety, etc.

Oppress

1. to burden with cruel or unjust impositions or restraints; subject to a burdensome or harsh exercise of authority or power: a people oppressed by totalitarianism.
2. to lie heavily upon (the mind, a person, etc.): Care and sorrow oppressed them.
3. to weigh down, as sleep or weariness does.
4. Archaic. to put down; subdue or suppress.
5. Archaic. to press upon or against; crush.

Polyamory

The word "polyamory" is based on the Greek and Latin for "many loves" (literally, poly many + amore love). A polyamorous relationship is a romantic relationship that involves more than two people.


For the sake of clearing up confusion I put definitions on here of the two words. I don't personally care how a person defines a word in their life-but in order to discuss anything in productive conversation we need to have a common understanding of meaning.

Please share how you feel that you have been or are oppressed in your life due to being involved in polyamory.

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Old 12-03-2009, 11:26 PM
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I personally was opressed by being expected to repair relationships that were already very messed up. I also was expected to automatically fix the exsisting sexaul problems for the couples I tried to be with.

And lastly, I was opressed in that I was denied love but expected upon pain of wrath and emotional beratement to give it.
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Old 12-04-2009, 12:12 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Erosa View Post
I personally was opressed by being expected to repair relationships that were already very messed up. I also was expected to automatically fix the exsisting sexaul problems for the couples I tried to be with.

And lastly, I was opressed in that I was denied love but expected upon pain of wrath and emotional beratement to give it.
Oh that's awful Erosa

I hope those days are over.

Oppression to me is always present. I see it everyday. Feel it everyday and no doubt dish it out everyday. Perhaps some perceive me to be oppressive because of unconscious actions I take or just how I express myself. To me it is a completely human trait that is not seen in nature. It's that niggley thing that makes us cruel to each other. Of course that can be on a larger scale with larger populations also.

As a poly person I try and keep tabs on my feelings of self righteousness that poly rocks! It's a bit of a balance however as I see people in my life struggling with their relationship dynamics and I have to keep myself in check about giving them space to receive my way of life rather than shove it down their throat as I think I am "right" about their relationships. Sure I feel like I am a bit of an authority on relationships and good communication. As it is a passion of mine and a life goal to perfect it for myself, but that doesn't mean others have chosen that. In fact a lot of people seem to be just trying to get through that aspect of life in order to balance out their comfort.

As a woman I experience oppression daily. As a poly woman I experience it also in terms of what traditional roles are and how I have two men to satisfy. Some of my female friends chose to think I am crazy. They see men as children that need to be coddled and in some way forgiven for their short comings about not being able to multitask, or for whining that they don't get to go out on their motorbike because they have to mow the lawn etc... talk about reverse oppression! If that is a term? I dunno, maybe I made it up?!

Some of my women friends think that I am a princess in a gilded cage that is taken care of by her two men. They think I am somehow owned by them as a toy they play with. These women I wonder, might wonder, what makes me so special that I have two men? What's her secret that she can be waited on hand and foot in some kind of condescending way. What has she given up in order to do so... in other words they think I am oppressed by either version they believe.

I could go on, as I have a lot more to say, but I will leave it at that for now as I want to hear others first.

Besides Mono is here chatting my ear off ....grrrrr he's oppressing me by with incessant talking. Hahaha! heh

(thanks LR for starting this thread, made me happy )
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Last edited by redpepper; 12-04-2009 at 12:15 AM.
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Old 12-04-2009, 12:17 AM
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No I'm not

I'm going to do a little sexy oppression for that comment Prepare yourself!!
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Old 12-04-2009, 12:55 AM
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It seems a lot of oppression that's experienced by people is borne on the assumptions other people make about them. The tricky part with that is that most people who are creating and perpetuating such oppression don't even know that they're doing it and what the effect of it is. And it is a difficult and sometimes painful process to come to the realization of one's personal role in perpetuating the oppression of others.

Last edited by Ceoli; 12-04-2009 at 01:02 AM.
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Old 12-04-2009, 02:01 AM
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My question is, what do I do that is oppressive and what can I do about it. Sure I have been a victim and am a victim but I find I learn about my own oppression by looking at what I can do to change what I do. That way I can ask for the change I need and advocate for myself and others.

Any ideas on how to not be oppressive?
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