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Old 10-20-2011, 11:02 PM
bulrush bulrush is offline
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Default Can a guy be a sexual healer?

Why does it have to be a woman? Why can't a guy who is sensitive, caring, and a good listener, use sex as one method of healing and restoring trust in an individual?

Comments please.
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Old 10-20-2011, 11:42 PM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Mono. He was my sexual healer. Hands down. I owe him a lot in terms of my self esteem and self worth in this area. I was his in return.
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Old 10-21-2011, 12:49 AM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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Ohhh, my boytoy used to heal me on a regular basis. Damn, sometimes that healing would involve lovely bruises and a sore neck from my head banging against the headboard!
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

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Old 10-21-2011, 03:12 AM
Jade Jade is offline
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Oh, I think some men do. I think my husband operates that way, though not so much with me as with other partners.
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Old 10-21-2011, 05:46 AM
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Anneintherain Anneintherain is offline
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Of course they can be. My husband has a lower libido and doesn't consider sex an amazing positive thing (compared to me, don't know about he compares to the rest of the world). My self esteem plummeted after breaking up with my high libido-ed ex and ending up monogamous for some years with a guy who doesn't find the joy and happiness in sex easily, and feeling rejected.
This is the only reason I wanted to become actively poly again, and it has been very healing for me to be having sex with somebody who enjoys sex and finds it fun and a worthwhile activity to do often and with zest. And even though it was _the_ only reason I wanted to be poly again, I have found that there are lots of other benefits too. So no way do I discount men as sexual healers.
Happiness will never come to those who fail to appreciate what they already have.

Last edited by Anneintherain; 10-21-2011 at 05:31 PM.
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Old 10-21-2011, 05:57 AM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Of course!

All people have the potential to be healers. Some need to learn how to be in that healing space, but some people are naturally attuned to it and being around them just soothes the soul. It doesn't necessarily have to be sex as a way for the to heal. I once rode in a cab and afterwards realized the cabbie was a healer; his conversation with me and his whole energy touched me in such a way that I was calmer and happier when I reached my destination than I was when I got in the cab. No small feat in NYC!

So, sure, men are healers! And men can effectively heal through sex. As long as their testosterone doesn't get in the way of connecting with someone. I think connection is key in healing.
The world opens up... when you do.

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