Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > Poly Relationships Corner

Notices

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 10-13-2011, 12:56 AM
melly74 melly74 is offline
New Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 2
Default I'm in a poly relationship but it turns out I'm mono. What do I do? Please help!

quitting this message board

Last edited by melly74; 10-13-2011 at 08:38 AM. Reason: regret
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 10-13-2011, 02:11 AM
Gargantuan Gargantuan is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 11
Default

is this for real?
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 10-13-2011, 02:29 AM
melly74 melly74 is offline
New Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 2
Default

yes it is for real. why?
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 10-13-2011, 06:46 AM
redpepper's Avatar
redpepper redpepper is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,639
Default

She moved in to early...

The new relationship energy (NRE) between you all had not ended and that drunk love feeling over shadowed your basic thought process of whether or not this was a good idea. In my experienced it takes up to a year for NRE to wear off and after that another six months is needed before making plans to move someone in (I speak from my own experience and from listening to others on here for years)... Have a look in the search engine for tags like "moving in" and see if you can't find a few others that did just the same thing with their gf's...

Not only that but the success rate for unicorns is very low under the circumstances you have described. They are usually short term flings that last until the NRE wears off... in your case it seems to of. You could do a tag search for "unicorn" also. What usually happens is that two people love each other more and the other is left out, one person has come to the end of the relationship while the others are still going at it, or the unicorn wants something more... it sounds like you are at least friends, but this can be with triads who are close also.

I would suggest sitting them both down and saying that you request she move out. It sounds like she has a job now and can support herself, so its time. If either of them kick up a fuss then make plans to leave. There is no sense in being miserable. You are not selfish about this. It isn't working for you. That isn't selfish... that is being responsible to yourself. Something a lot of people shove down to make others happy. That ends in resentment, anger and a whole lot of depression I think. Good for you for recognizing that it isn't working and making paths to fix it... if they don't like that then leave.

(do us a favour and put some paragraph breaks in please and thank you)
__________________
Anyone want to be friends on Facebook?
Send me your name via PM
My blog
Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 04:16 AM.