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Old 09-29-2011, 09:45 PM
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River River is offline
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Default Harsh!

Here are some people ganging up on non-monogamous people.

http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts11426715.aspx

Harsh, no?

Other folks can post their examples here, too.
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Old 09-29-2011, 10:33 PM
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Simple question : Why ?

Why have a thread showing all the ways people dislike non-monogamy ? That is pretty much evident everywhere else.
People come to the poly board to find some sort of basic acceptance of their non-monogamy, not more examples of hate.
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Old 09-30-2011, 01:55 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SourGirl View Post
People come to the poly board to find some sort of basic acceptance of their non-monogamy, not more examples of hate.
I thought these fora were for discussing all aspects of polyamory. I had never thought of it as a place where we can or should hide from the rest of the world.

If this thread is offensive to bunches of folks here (speak up!), I will ask that it be removed.

Honestly, SourGirl, I was quite surprised at the extent of contempt for non-monogamy I saw in the link I provided. I saw hatred and utter dismissal, and it surprised me by its sort of torch bearing atmosphere. Perhaps you are right and we should not discuss such hatred here. Perhaps we ought to treat this place as a sanctuary from such views. I dunno. I have an activist bent. Always have, being an LGBT person. When folks hate me I want to educate them out of it. And I figure ignoring them won't work. But your concern is legitimate.

Votes? (informal votes, that is.) Should we can this thread? Yes or no?
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Last edited by River; 09-30-2011 at 02:01 AM.
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Old 09-30-2011, 02:30 AM
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AnnabelMore AnnabelMore is offline
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If you seek negativity on the internet, you'll find a bottomless pit of it. Homophobia, racism, misogyny, and a million other forms of ignorance, people throw their darkest thoughts out there either because they get to be anonymous, or because they finally have a soap box, or both.

If we're going to dissect the major prejudices people have against poly and figure out ways to educate, well, that's one thing, though I might find the task too depressing even then. But random cruel rantings on other message boards, there won't be any end to it or any sense to it, so why engage with it?
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Old 09-30-2011, 02:58 AM
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It`s the 'style'.
Of asking people to post examples.
Searching for dislike and hate, struck me as odd.

If people come with personal stories, where they were attacked, that makes total sense. Or even a thread where people talked about personal things they heard in real life.
( we have those.)
It has nothing to do with activism. You can be a activist, and support your own cause, without inciting, spreading, or relaying hate.

I don`t think you have to ask for the thread to be removed. Any threads people don`t favour, tend to 'swim with the fishies' anyhow.
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Old 09-30-2011, 11:27 AM
zylya zylya is offline
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In fairness:

1. The guy sprang the whole triad thing on her after LYING to her that he was broken up with his ex.
2. He is desperate and needy (not a bad thing, but definitely unattractive)
3. He's basically giving her an ultimatum here
4. He's only interested in his OWN desires.

The guy basically deserves to be ridiculed for it. Like the topic creator herself said, she's supportive of polyamory, but when the guy plans a monogamous relationship with a girl and tells her he's left his ex, then comes up with this then he's doing it wrong. Most of the people in that topic aren't laughing at polyamory, they're laughing at how badly this guy has gone about it.
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Old 09-30-2011, 02:50 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SourGirl View Post
It`s the 'style'.
Of asking people to post examples.
Searching for dislike and hate, struck me as odd.
No, no. I said "Other folks can post their examples here, too" in the opening post because I wanted to convey the notion that I did not intend the entire thread to be devoted to the content of the link I provided.

And, honestly, SourGirl, I think you had a good point about this forum being a sort of sanctuary from the ignorance and hatred of others. I'm not sure, on balance, whether I'd have started the thread had I spoken with you about the idea before hand. I see some virtues to talking about poly-phobia (or whatever), and I see some problems with it in this context.
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