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Old 09-17-2011, 09:08 PM
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seysccouple seysccouple is offline
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Default The Polyamorous Dating Scene

Even though we are new to the poly lifestyle we are not new to the swingers lifestyle. We own a swingers website and the M half of the couple here is a Website Designer / Programmer.

We have noticed that there really isn't any quality websites for couples and singles to find other polyamorous couples and singles. We have been thinking about building a dating / social networking site dedicated to the polyamorous lifestyle.

If you have any experience with any of the current sites on the Internet today please tell us your thoughts. If you have any site ideas, let me know and I will keep the notes as reference.

Let us know what you think...

Last edited by AutumnalTone; 09-18-2011 at 09:47 AM. Reason: Obvious pimping excised
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Old 09-18-2011, 09:55 AM
AutumnalTone AutumnalTone is offline
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There are several sites that have been built specifically for poly personals and none of them seem to have gained any traction. Could be bad design, could be bad marketing-- I suspect it actually has to do with low numbers.

OKCupid does well because of the sheer number of members. As the polyfolk are treated the same as the monofolk and come up in searches, more people get made aware of polyamory and some are curious enough to explore it. That greatly increases the pool of potential partners well beyond having a site where all of the people who join are already poly.

So if you're going to build a dating site for polyfolk, it's likely best to include monofolk and keep them all jostling up against each other. You'll have to figure out how to stand out in the crowd of mainstream dating sites, though, and how to market effectively to build general membership.
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Old 09-18-2011, 06:23 PM
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There's always space for new social networking and dating sites. But I'm pretty happy with PolyMatchMaker.com as a dating site. I've found a couple of partners that way. Have you taken a look at it?

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Old 09-18-2011, 07:33 PM
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I think also, if you want to build a dating site for poly peeps, you have to stop thinking of poly as a specific lifestyle. I know you are probably bringing your swinger mindset into this idea, where it is considered a lifestyle, but there are so many ways to live polyamorously that it would be very limiting to think of it as one lifestyle or for only certain kinds of people. Besides, tons of people who have never even heard of the word polyamory engage in non-exclusive relationships. They shouldn't have to feel like they're subscribing to a certain lifestyle to be ethically non-monogamous.

I have found that OKCupid works really well for me. It's full of poly people, but I don't even call myself poly on my profile for them to find me. And most of the non-poly folks there that I've met are either cool with non-monogamy or have heard of poly. Polymatchmaker hasn't been a success for me, just basically because there are so few poly guys on there whom I find attractive and most NYC profiles, it seems (at least, last time I logged in), don't even have pictures. But I do check it every now and then.

I believe there are other threads here about starting new poly dating sites. Have you done a search?
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Last edited by nycindie; 09-18-2011 at 07:56 PM.
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Old 09-18-2011, 07:50 PM
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I'll chime in and add another positive review of OKC. I've found a lot of poly minded folks in my new town and its been great for making some new friends. My partner has a lot of luck with it too it seems.
While there are some obnoxious guys on the site, I've been very pleasantly surprised with the amount of genuinely cool people.
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Old 09-18-2011, 11:33 PM
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Thank everyone for posting your responses so far. All of your thoughts is welcomed. I guess since we have been swingers for so long and know so little of the polyamory that we just considered it a lifestyle too.

We have joined okcupid.com today and we are finding it to be a good site. We do not have anything in our profile about polyamory in it but we did say in the profile that we are a couple and we are also swingers and we are looking to expand our relationship and find a single female.
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Old 09-19-2011, 12:53 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by seysccouple View Post
We do not have anything in our profile about polyamory
Depending on where you live, if you are looking for poly people you probably don't need to do this. At least in Philly there are quite a few people with it stated in their profile. I have it all over mine so that anyone interested knows what they are stepping into (very happily partnered). But I suppose you went about that a different way, stating exactly what you want (swingers & etc), which is the most important thing.
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Old 09-19-2011, 12:06 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by seysccouple View Post
We have been thinking about building a dating / social networking site dedicated to the polyamorous lifestyle.
Consider dropping the use of the term "lifestyle" about poly folk. Many or most poly folk take exception to the notion that polyamory is a "lifestyle," insisting that poly folk have mostly just one thing in common with other poly folk, being their ability and willingness to love multiple people simultaneously (& ethically, honestly). A 'lifestyle", they will say, suggests a broader range of similarities.
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Old 05-10-2012, 05:33 PM
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I learned about OKC from this site, and joined, but it doesn't really work for me, because I'm in a tiny European country with very few OKC members let alone OKC members who are interested in dating someone poly.
I have had great experiences with a poly dating site in my country (not international). Had a lot of dates through this site, and ended up with 2 lovers.
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