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  #1  
Old 11-25-2009, 08:24 PM
LuvNWonder LuvNWonder is offline
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Default Quad Thoughts

Luv and I have from the beginning our discussions on poly both been...well, enamored...with the idea of a quad.
Ever since we've been non-mono our most wonderful times have been spent with couples. We understand intellectually that a deep poly relationship with a quad may never happen, but the thought of sharing our family and our lives with another committed couple who also loves *us* is such a strong desire with us we've even discussed setting ground rules that would only allow for that.

But no. there is too many wonderful loving people out there for us to know to restrict our growth and sharing like that.

I guess I'm looking for comments from those who have had successful quad relationships, and those who had less successful quad relationships. There is so much to learn either way.

I know the answer to *everything* is "It Depends", but I'd like some sense of how possible it even is, how to find such a couple, what are the unique challenges (probably not unique at all, but a more complex combination of the already known challenges), and is it as amazingly wonderful as we believe it can be, even with the challenges?

Brian
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Old 12-05-2009, 08:20 PM
PickMoreDaisies PickMoreDaisies is offline
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I share your excitement over the ideal situation...am currently tentatively entering into a quad situation so i don't have any profound wisdom to share with you. Just thought that I would post and perhaps keep posting as things move along for your reading enjoyment lol. I am so nervous about all the relationships going on at the same time, perhaps this is why quads seem complicated...we are all a third somehow and there are two primary relationships to manage...seems overwhelming to me but messy and intriging nonetheless.
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  #3  
Old 12-05-2009, 08:27 PM
LuvNWonder LuvNWonder is offline
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Oh please do continue to share! We wish you the best!
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  #4  
Old 12-06-2009, 03:39 PM
GroundedSpirit GroundedSpirit is offline
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Default Personalities

Hi Luv,

We've "attempted" a couple of quad relationships with existing couples but explored quite a few others. The conclusion WE have come to is that it's just probably not realistic to expect to find 2 other people in an existing relationship that really click with both of us - an vic-versa. But we also acknowledge that the area that we live in is very puritanical and PC, so that may have some impact. Were we in an area that seem to attract more "open" people I suppose the chances might be better. But still I question that.
Our feelings are that if a successful quad ever developed it would be more likely via the coming together of a couple "V"s etc - or something similar.
But good luck to you !

GS
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Old 12-15-2009, 05:46 PM
PickMoreDaisies PickMoreDaisies is offline
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Default wolves in sheep clothing

well our couple turned out to be swingers claiming they were poly.....sucky for us. I think that it has the possibility to be a good friendship. They seem to be at a different point than we are. It's too bad because I think that things could have turned out differently and they may move to some other point in the future but for now we are again looking I really enjoyed the dynamic between the four of us and it was very open and poly "friendly" but just not really our cup of tea. "swing fast" seems sooo weird to me!!! Don't claim to be poly if you're not....obvious to me

I think that I would enjoy a poly relationship with a couple but there seems to be certain time restraints that I have trouble with. In my polyanna poly dream I aspire to have an integrated life with people and I am not sure how to develop that with people who already have a fairly established existence on their own.

My partner and I have thought about it being perhaps easier to "build a quad" out of single relationships....but still we are open as always to whatever relationships come our way to teach us new things about our own relationship and needs
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  #6  
Old 01-25-2011, 11:57 PM
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Senga Senga is offline
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Ideally Ryan & I would like to have a quad relationship. We feel that it is just as likely, if not more likely for us to meet a compatible couple than a single. I am still dreaming though I think ...
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