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  #1  
Old 07-18-2011, 07:32 PM
jrrmjr820 jrrmjr820 is offline
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Red face New poly couple going slowly,somewhat.

Hello everyone,

Well, as some background, hubby, let's call him M and I are embarking on our first foray into poly. We have always discussed bringing in another man to our relationship. M is bisexual but not biamorous and I am straight and polyamorous. We just figured that being married with two young children, lets call them B and Q, we could only just talk about it.

Well my sister, N, came to us 2 months ago and told us that she is entering a polyfi mff triad with a husband and wife who also have 2 young children. So we realized that it didn't have to be just talk so we began our search for an at least bicurious man to enter our relationship. Well, we have found a potential partner, let's call him D.

We have met him in person once so far and have determined that we do have some chemistry. We have been emailing and messaging and texting for going on two weeks. We will be seeing him again on Wed for some more getting to know you time. He is also married with two young children and a mono wife, we'll call her L. She knows that he is poly and is supportive but doesn't want details. We have hope that if this works out that she will at least meet us and possibly become a good friend as we all have a lot in common.

I asked both M and D if they would mind my starting a thread about this on here as a way for me to get out the joys and any sorrows or frustrations that this process dishes out. We plan to take the bedroom activities slowly and see how things go. M is a sub and so he is not very take charge in bed and that is okay with me some of the time. D is an alpha personality so he likes to take charge in bed and that appeals to my equally sub side.

I am a true switch when it comes to that stuff. It just depends on my mood. M and I are into some BDSM and have recently joined a group for that side of us. D has no experience in that area but has said he is willing to explore it as he becomes more comfortable. The things that I like require my partner to take charge and M will do so if asked but it is not his preference.

Labels aren't that important to me but I am not sure if we would be a triad as the 3 of us will have sexual contact with each other or a quad as he is married but she won't be having sex with either M or me. Any suggestions on that? Well, I will be adding to this as things progress.

Jrrmjr820

Last edited by jrrmjr820; 07-18-2011 at 07:59 PM. Reason: Typo, paragraph breaks.
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Old 07-18-2011, 07:35 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Hi and welcome! How about adding some paragraph breaks?
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Old 07-18-2011, 07:37 PM
jrrmjr820 jrrmjr820 is offline
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Sorry about that, I didn't realize that it was quite that long and the iPad isn't letting me scroll through it to fix things. Is that better? I ran upstairs and fixed it on the computer. It should flow much better now.

Last edited by jrrmjr820; 07-18-2011 at 07:56 PM. Reason: adding text
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Old 07-19-2011, 04:03 PM
jrrmjr820 jrrmjr820 is offline
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Well, I am getting excited for our get together with D tomorrow. We will do more talking and getting to know each other and he will meet my sister and the kids. N will take B and Q down to play Lego in the playroom so we can have adult conversation without the kids around as we are introducing D as a new friend of ours. I have hope that things will continue to progress and that this will turn into something mutually beneficial and longterm. We shall see how it unfolds.
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Old 07-20-2011, 04:20 PM
jrrmjr820 jrrmjr820 is offline
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Well, it seems like this journey may end before it even starts. D says that he is not sure if he is ready yet due to things that he is still carrying from the past. He is concerned that we will head down this path and he will end up pulling out and hurting us. I told him that we all have baggage and that I think that we need to at least try. It is my choice to risk being hurt and I am willing to risk it. Even without our collective baggage, there is the risk of all of us being hurt down the road if this doesn't work out. We are going to talk more later and I will let you guys know how it goes.
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Old 07-20-2011, 06:57 PM
jrrmjr820 jrrmjr820 is offline
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Well, D is not coming over tonight. He is going to take a couple of days and think and decide if he really wants to try with us or not. I am willing to be hurt if he is willing to try as there are never guarantees in life and especially love.

However, if he just wants to chat with me and exchange naughty words and pictures and set up future meetings that he will then back out of like tonight, I want a clean break.

We have too much chemistry and I don't think that I can be "just friends" with someone when there is this much chemistry as evidenced on our first meet up and never be able to act on it. It's too hard and not fair to me.

He agrees with me but has asked for a few days where we both think things over. I have let him know that the ball is in his court. If he is wiling to try to make things work then I am all in but if he just can't then a clean break is best for all of us especially considering we both have 2 small children to think of in addition to his wife.
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