selling cheating!!!

[redpepper]

What do you make of this????!!!

http://money.ca.msn.com/small-busine...entid=22458623

here is the start of the article....


"Toronto entrepreneur Noel Biderman knows better than anybody that sex sells.

Biderman pulls in "tens of millions" in revenue a year running a dating site called Ashley Madison. You might have seen Biderman's face on American TV shows like CNN, The View, Dr. Phil or The Tyra Banks Show. He's also received extensive media coverage in various large circulation newspapers.

Biderman says:
Why the fuss? Ashley Madison is aimed squarely at helping married people have affairs, complete with an "affair guarantee" that will refund you your money if you don't find someone in the first three months. The guarantee package costs $249 to purchase. Users can browse for free but must purchase credits to initiate a live chat, for example.

It's an objective that has, not surprisingly, generated a
firestorm of moral indignation.

It's also generated in the order of 4.6 million users worldwide, a depressingly dark statistic that underscores other statistics, such as the one that more than 50 per cent of men and women admit to cheating within a relationship at least once."

[MonoVCPHG]

The sad thing is people would probably be even more outraged by a poly dating sight because it is commonly seen that people having affairs are at least trying to be faithful. Knowingly having someone outside of a marraige presses a button deep inside people.
My parents were less phased by my 17 year marraige falling apart as a result of me cheating than they are of my poly relationship. They understand and know affairs but being a married woman's boyfriend when her husband knows is just too strange. They are more comfortable talking about my affair....strange isn't it?

[LovingRadiance]

[redpepper]

what are we all bothering for if this is going on.... oh ya! because it is more deep, long lasting, more responsible, doesn't cost as much and doesn't make someone else money!

[MonoVCPHG]

I've had an affair in the past and am now in a poly relationship. So here is my theory on why people chose the hidden path as opposed to the open path. This theory is based on experience.


Why would people decide to cheat instead of have a poly relationship?

1) - its way easier. Communication and understanding is strictly between the two people involved.

2) - It has the added excitement of "getting away with something". Who hasn't done something because there was a thrill in it being wrong or enjoyed keeping a secret.

3) - It is a self limiting entity. The functions of the relationship are very limited. "I can't come over and mow your yard because your husband will kick me ass but we can meet somewhere and fuck!"

4) - they can be emotionally limited so you don't have to commit beyond your own needs. "It's not that I just want to fuck you, but really we have our families to think about. I don't want you to lose everything."

5) - it can come and go without impacting a family or social network. There are a lot of affairs that happen without anyone knowing about them.

6) - there is a belief that the participants are at least trying to be faithful or shield their partner from the information that they are not adequate in all areas.

7) - they can be terminated with less effort because "what we are doing is wrong"

8) - your parents will probably never know


Why would someone want poly vice cheating?

1) - Poly encourages you to grow as a person where affairs make you digress into irresponsibility and self denial of reality.

2) - Poly acknowledges and addresses the pain and emotions of your partner where affairs play people for fools; this is probably the greatest source of pain for those betrayed.

3) - It has the potential to become a fulfilling dynamic that widens family structures and generate more support and love for everyone involved. Affairs have a tendency to destroy families and severely damage everyone involved from spouses to children.

4) - It can set a positive example of communication and understanding for people around you.

5) - Poly relationships can increase love for everyone involved; affairs take something away from people whether they know it or not.

6) - You can be free to openly proclaim love to people around you. Affairs can become logistically exhausting and brutally stressful.

7) - Poly relationships can end with friendships and deep connections intact. Affairs usually end with total severance of ties and anything positive gets lost.

8) - Once your parents realize everyone is ok, they can often accept and be comfortable with the dynamic. Most parents would probably have a hard time hanging out with the person you are having an affair with…of course they probably wouldn't know.


Want it mathematically?

Affairs = short term gain, long term pain

Poly = short term pain, long term gain


Unfortunately I am a person who seems to need to learn by experiencing consequences. I have experienced a lot of consequences in my life; enough to know who I am in a way I never have before and I am no longer a boy in a man's clothes. I have lost what most would define as "everything". I have no excuse to repeat mistakes I made in the past. No excuse…full fucking stop. Any repeat of previously learned lessons is not because "it just happened". The repeat of negative things I have done would indicate an ill person. I am healthier than I have ever been.

Peace and love
Mono

[redpepper]

Oh baby, I love you. I hope you feel so proud because you have worked so hard to get here. I am honored to be by your side.

I would say a viable alternative to cheating, if someone just wants sex, is to have an open relationship. Not that its not fraught with issues itself, but to me it is at least respectful and honest. Hopefully undamaging too it the people one fucks are also open and not cheating. Otherwise, its still cheating.

[AutumnalTone]

Originally Posted by MonoVCPHG

I have experienced a lot of consequences in my life; enough to know who I am in a way I never have before and I am no longer a boy in a man's clothes. I have lost what most would define as "everything". I have no excuse to repeat mistakes I made in the past. No excuse…full fucking stop.

Amen, brother, amen.

I look back and see utter cluelessness on my part. I never had a functional male role model in my family and had no good example to follow. That meant a lot of trial and error, with the errors providing lots of instruction on what not to do.

[redsirenn]

Originally Posted by MonoVCPHG

The sad thing is people would probably be even more outraged by a poly dating sight because it is commonly seen that people having affairs are at least trying to be faithful.

Now - isn't that backwards logic?!

[MonoVCPHG]

Originally Posted by redsirenn

Now - isn't that backwards logic?!

It is..but I have told my parents about having an affair and having a poly relationship. Their response spoke volumes of the inability to understand poly but their acceptance that people have affairs.

[ladyjools]

i had similar issue with my parents, my mum has had an affair in the past, and now married to the man she had an affair with,
i am constantly callanged by her on my poly lifestyle, that i choose to be open about with her through respect,
but when i spoke to her about cheating years ago she was very understanding and accepting of it, it kind of infuriates me because i want her to see what i see that this is a far better way to conduct myself than lying and cheating but i dont' think she ever really will understand.

Jools