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  #1  
Old 06-01-2011, 01:14 PM
Ready2Fly Ready2Fly is offline
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Default Polyamory's Image Problem

If they think about us at all, here's what we are in their eyes:



Shocking, but true. We, on the other hand, I think would be disturbed to call those people "polyamorous," even though they are (a) nonmonogamous, and (b) honest about it. But these examples are the only ones a typical mainstreamer knows anything about, and the only ones the culture of compulsory monogamy even admits can exist, although of course it is loathe to admit any possibility that love could be involved.

Poly cannot come out into the open so long as this is the image people have of it. So my questions are: (a) what is the critical component that separates us from polygamists and pimps*? and (b) how does one introduce such a concept into the public consciousness?

*whatever it is, we need to add it to any discussion of poly with the culture-at-large. Nonmonogamy-with-honesty is not enough, lest we be confronted with these images constantly.
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Old 06-01-2011, 01:56 PM
GroundedSpirit GroundedSpirit is offline
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Interesting question R2F !

The media of course controls this and WHO controls the media ?

Right now primarily the right wing, conservative camp.

There is much alternative press worldwide but it's outside the 'mainstream' for the most part.

So the change seems like it will follow the other method of change. Slow, steady, until it suddenly reaches the oft named 'tipping point'.

Unfortunately it's not helpful that probably a majority of the people attempting a poly lifestyle are in the learning (relearning) phase and therefore are stumbling and bumbling along as best they can. The nay-sayers LOVE to have that for examples to support their cause.

probably take a generation or two.

GS
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Old 06-01-2011, 05:46 PM
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RfromRMC RfromRMC is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GroundedSpirit View Post
The media of course controls this and WHO controls the media ?

Right now primarily the right wing, conservative camp.

There is much alternative press worldwide but it's outside the 'mainstream' for the most part.
Even if the alternative press does slightly better than the above two pics, they still lack a good deal of accuracy in their portrayals, unfortunately.

Example...about two years ago a gay & lesbian newspaper in our state did a story on polyamory. But their example? Four young skinny pretty-boys (think Bieber clones if you know what I mean) all living in a two bedroom apartment and screwing around with each other. Lots of discussion in the article about sex and jealousy---along with plenty of shirtless pictures for some odd reason---but very very little about love, romance, emotional bonding, etc. It was a pretty depressing portrayal...especially because they all ended up fighting and breaking up after they got to be on an MTV reality show.
Sure it was polyamorous technically, but not the face of it I'd choose to represent, in my honest opinion. I guess I assumed an LGBT paper would do better than a mainstream conservative one...but I was pretty disappointed.

Last edited by RfromRMC; 06-01-2011 at 05:50 PM.
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Old 06-01-2011, 06:46 PM
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TL4everu2 TL4everu2 is offline
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I think the show "Sisterwives" is great for helping the general public to understand polygamy a bit more. I would'nt mind doing one which was more polyamory related though as opposed to "polygamy" related. 6 month long show, an hour each week, showing the differences....and likenesses of a polyamorous relationship vs a regular relationship. The bouts of jealousy and insecurity. The love! The absolute caring and understanding which goes into a poly relationship. This is a show I would record and watch every time....no matter what!
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Old 06-01-2011, 07:42 PM
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Most "mainstream" and monogamous people I've spoken with think of free-love hippies, with a touch of egotistical intellectualism--as in "We're smarter/more thoughtful/more communicative/more enlightened than you, so you could never be one of us."

I have met some poly people who are like that, and I often see some judgment cast on monogamous folk, as if they don't question their own choices, or have been oppressed somehow.

Just my impression.
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  #6  
Old 06-01-2011, 09:11 PM
TruckerPete TruckerPete is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
I have met some poly people who are like that, and I often see some judgment cast on monogamous folk, as if they don't question their own choices, or have been oppressed somehow.
Around here? Nooooo ...
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  #7  
Old 04-08-2012, 07:28 AM
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metallicagurl84 metallicagurl84 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
Most "mainstream" and monogamous people I've spoken with think of free-love hippies, with a touch of egotistical intellectualism--as in "We're smarter/more thoughtful/more communicative/more enlightened than you, so you could never be one of us."

I have met some poly people who are like that, and I often see some judgment cast on monogamous folk, as if they don't question their own choices, or have been oppressed somehow.

Just my impression.
Sounds like a prejudice of a sort. I was raised firmly on "don't judge others" & "to each is their own" as my fiance says.."don't knock it til you try it." Hahah
I don't care how self proclaimed perfect, how plastic, how intelligent, how ignorant someone is. It takes love, trust, honesty, communication, & balance for ANY relationship to be successful without misery.
And how can anyone shoot down polyamory when Mormons have been practicing polygamy as a strong part of their culture for how long?! Polyamory is not a bad way of life or stupidity... *ugh* I'm sorry, when I get into a rant, I forget we're are on the same page...
Blessed be,
Fey
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Old 04-10-2012, 06:37 PM
KyleKat KyleKat is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
Most "mainstream" and monogamous people I've spoken with think of free-love hippies, with a touch of egotistical intellectualism--as in "We're smarter/more thoughtful/more communicative/more enlightened than you, so you could never be one of us."

I have met some poly people who are like that, and I often see some judgment cast on monogamous folk, as if they don't question their own choices, or have been oppressed somehow.

Just my impression.
So, when I read this I thought about it for a moment. I wouldn't say more enlightened but wouldn't you say we are more free-thinking and understanding? I had a conversation with someone yesterday and they said they believed getting a lap dance at a strip club was cheating. That's maybe a little extreme but my point is we have all kinds of tolerance here. We have polygamy, polyamory, polyandry, swinging (which isn't poly but another whole thing all together) and so many more definitions. We can understand all of these even if we don't agree with them. I find most of my monogamous friends are accepting but not at all understanding. They ask me questions and stare at me blankly when I explain. Then they ask the question a different way. "aren't you jealous? No. Well it doesn't bother you when she's having sex with someone else? No. What if she leaves you for him? Won't happen, but if it did its not because of the sex" etc.

To many monogamists it's cheating. To us it's life. We aren't any better, we are just different. And the issue isn't our lifestyle. There are too many camps for us to ever unify. No, the problem is our honesty. People are liars. They don't like that we accept this because they can't. Think about it. Far more people cheat than practice polygamy. It's just how we are. We are deceitful.
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  #9  
Old 04-08-2012, 07:19 AM
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metallicagurl84 metallicagurl84 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TL4everu2 View Post
I think the show "Sisterwives" is great for helping the general public to understand polygamy a bit more. I would'nt mind doing one which was more polyamory related though as opposed to "polygamy" related. 6 month long show, an hour each week, showing the differences....and likenesses of a polyamorous relationship vs a regular relationship. The bouts of jealousy and insecurity. The love! The absolute caring and understanding which goes into a poly relationship. This is a show I would record and watch every time....no matter what!
I second that notion!!!
Blessed be,
Fey
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  #10  
Old 06-02-2011, 07:53 PM
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Alan7388 Alan7388 is offline
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Default Terisa Greenan's web-TV series "Family"...

...is a great start on what such a movie might look like! Very professionally done -- she's a real filmmaker, and she used professional (volunteer) actors. You can watch all 21 episodes (5-10 minutes each) here:

http://www.3dogpictures.com/FamilyEpisodes.html

Scroll to the bottom to start with Episode #1.

Cheers,

Alan M.
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