Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > Poly Relationships Corner

Notices

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 10-26-2009, 04:52 PM
Tahirabs Tahirabs is offline
Banned
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Topeka, ks
Posts: 59
Question What do you think?

What do you think about having one of your partners (the one that is not the primary or the unicorn) be a god-parent if, when you have children. I know it is a long ways ( about 4 yrs) off in my family, but children are already highly important to me (especially since I already had one son that I lost). I have discussed it with both my husband and my girlfriend and they both are fine with legally making my girlfriend (my husband loves her, but mostly thinks of her as a good friend... she does live with us now) the gaurdian of any children my husband and I have (if she is living with us at this time... she is from Finland and will be leaving in Dec. but plans to return in 2yrs). I was just wondering if anyone else has done this or wanted to know what others think. hummm...

Please write to tell me what you think.

Tahira Schmidt
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 10-26-2009, 04:58 PM
Tahirabs Tahirabs is offline
Banned
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Topeka, ks
Posts: 59
Red face What K has said... related topic!

My girlfriend, K, actually is really excited about being a god-mother someday. She is a full lesbin and does not make deep loving relationships easly since her parents are/were abusive to her. She keeps telling me that she only wants to be with me and my husband and no one else and that she would be honered to be a god-mother. While part of me is really happy to hear this another (small part) is also sad. I want her to experiance what me and my husband have. I would love for her to find someone that she could be one with in all ways. Since my husband and I are married and since my husband gets jelous often it is hard for me to ever give her all of that. She tells me she is very happy with what she has and feels blessed/greatful that me and my husband are in her life (she loves to help foster our relationship and wathc us grow/get closer), I just hope she never regreats not having this complete two people one life kind of love/relationship. I feel slightly guilty and definitly sad (for her)... what do you all think about this as well?
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 10-26-2009, 06:05 PM
MonoVCPHG's Avatar
MonoVCPHG MonoVCPHG is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: In Redpepper's heart
Posts: 4,742
Default

I don't see any reason not to consider a member of your chosen family as a good choice for legal guardianship. I'm going to wear it for this probably, but I see the choice of "God Parent" as a bit more tricky.

Here's my reasoning.

Legal guardianship can be adjusted to reflect changes in dynamics with a simple document. Poly relationships may be more prone to changes in family make up so while changing who has legal guardsianship is easy enough, I don't know if you can change the person chosen as "God Parent" so easily.

Regardless, as you said, this is long way off and when the time comes you'll be in a better place to make that decision.

Interesting thread!

Take care
Mono
__________________

Playing the Game of Life with Monopoly rules.
Monogamy might just be in my genes

Poly Events All Over
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 10-26-2009, 10:45 PM
LovingRadiance's Avatar
LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Alaska
Posts: 5,397
Default

My boyfriend and my sister will be the custodians of our children if anything happens to us-per our will.
I see no issue with it as long as the person(s) you choose is good with kids and your kids are comfortable with them. The person should be capable emotionally, physically and mentally of supporting and loving your children as if they were their own. Not AS their own, as they WOULD love their own AND they should be willing and able to help the children maintain relationships with ALL family members and loved ones if something were to happen to you as well as ensuring that they keep their religious backgrounds as you've taught them
__________________
"Love As Thou Wilt"
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 10-27-2009, 04:48 AM
Mark1npt Mark1npt is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Sunny FL
Posts: 344
Default

If it's a true pure longer term poly relationship amongst great friends/loves, I see no problems. I'm more worried about the transient or short term relationships. Of course, plenty of monogamous God-parents have gotten divorced, split or whatever....how many times has that come into play when caring for stranded God-children? Anybody have any stats?
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 10-27-2009, 04:57 AM
LovingRadiance's Avatar
LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Alaska
Posts: 5,397
Default

No stats here but the cool thing for us is it's our will, so we can update it as we see fit. But it hasn't changed in 16 years for me. We'll see.

Good points though-gotta make sure these people are good for your kids. Not just good in your beds.
__________________
"Love As Thou Wilt"
Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 04:25 AM.