Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > Introductions


Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 05-23-2011, 08:30 PM
Coralspring Coralspring is offline
New Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 3
Default Hi!

Hello. My husband and I have claimed, off and on, to have an “open” relationship for the past 18 years. (“Open” is what we are calling it right now. I am a bit confused with some of the different definitions for relationship styles and hesitate to label because I think we may actually fall somewhere in a hybrid camp.) However, we have struggled and slipped in and out of a rather shaky agreement to be monogamous when things didn’t work out quite the way we had envisioned, which was almost every time.

Many years ago we didn’t really have anyone to talk to about our relationship style choice, and we weren’t sure where to go for support. We even went to a marriage counselor who would not even let us consider working on being “open” when we told him that was what we wanted to work toward. So, I feel as though I am actually new to this relationship lifestyle and so grateful for the technology that allows for forums like this to exist. I have read many posts here already and have learned a lot from all of you who have much more experience than I. It is really inspiring to see others who are managing their relationships so thoughtfully even with varying levels of success and have this support system for each other.

My husband and I are working from a place of healing now. I jumped the gun and wrote our story in the Life Stories and Blog forum already. I wish I could say for certain that things will be different this time, but I am not sure about that. But, I am ok with that.

I agree with the principles laid out in Ethical Slut. It has become a bit of a reference tool for me. I think it is a great guide for any relationship, whether it be poly or not, romantically inclined or not. I am ok with whatever works, including monogamy, but I would prefer a polyamorous, or open (?), arrangement, as long as it includes compassion and thoughtfulness. I am hoping to learn much more from those of you who have much more experience here.
Reply With Quote
Old 05-23-2011, 09:49 PM
nycindie's Avatar
nycindie nycindie is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 10,083

Hi and welcome! I read your story in the Blog section. Wow, what a ride. I just wanted to pop in here and suggest another book for you. Opening Up by Tristan Taormino is very good, almost like a how-to, and it has lots of interviews with real people doing poly peppered throughout the book.
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia

Click here for a Solo Poly view on hierarchical relationships
Click here to find out why the Polyamorous Misanthrope is feeling disgusted.
Reply With Quote

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

All times are GMT. The time now is 07:03 AM.