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Old 03-18-2012, 08:50 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 10,083

Originally Posted by matellas View Post
I want to be her everything and I'm feeling now that I can't.
You can't be everything to a person, even if you are both happily monogamous. People need other people in their lives, friends, connections, diversity of thought and ideas, socializing, hobbies, etc. It's just that in poly, that also includes romance and most probably sex with other people as well.

Originally Posted by matellas View Post
I play the situation out over in my head and think that I would constantly be trying to make sure he knew I was number one and at the same time be questioning whether she was truly happy with me or not. How often does it work when in a situation like mine? On top of everything else my fear is being outed for being a part of this at work. My position and job would possibly be in some jeapordy for having this kind of relationship.
Now you are getting ahead of yourself and projecting scenarios that may not even happen. You and she need to discuss this at length before making big changes. Ask her about the deadline. Find out why such an urgency. Let her know your fears. Talk, talk, talk. From the heart. Don't be afraid to let her see how vulnerable you feel.

How old are the two of you?
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia

Click here for a Solo Poly view on hierarchical relationships
Click here to find out why the Polyamorous Misanthrope is feeling disgusted.

Last edited by nycindie; 03-18-2012 at 08:54 PM.
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