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Old 03-18-2012, 06:27 PM
matellas matellas is offline
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: kansas
Posts: 23
Default Completely New To This and Need Some Advice

Hi All!

I'm in the Kansas City area and with two kids and a beautiful fiance who I'm absolutlely in love with. We have been together for over two years no but about six months ago things were going horrible between the two of us. I was pushing her away and she made a a new friend with another man. Now this man is someone who she now has serious feelings for and has asked me to consider with her a poly relationship. I have two kids under four from a previous relationship who spend most of their time with us and we have raising together. He has one child under four who has it not allowed to see very often. She says she thinks she is in love with him and has told me that it is either us three or nothing at this point. To say the least I'm scared and confused and frustrated and angry and just plain lost. A poly relationship is something I know very little about. She is my best friend and we are an amazing team. He and I scarily enough are very similar and more than likely would be fast friends. But these thoughts of having to see her being affectionate with someone else the way she is with me is something I cannot handle. She has presented this to me just a week ago and has told me I have about two weeks to make a decision. She says she still wants to marry me and be with me forever but that she wants to try this with him as well. We had broken up when things were bad but she wanted to make things work with us and has told me she can't imagine a day without me. But she says this guy complements her in all the ways that I don't. She says she is a better person because of him.She also says that this is not about the sex, it's about exploring here feeling for him. But my thoughts keep going back to having to see her face look at his as he is inside of her with that look of love she has for me. I hate the thought of having to come home and see them cuddling on the couch. I feel as if she gets to have her cake and eat it too. I know that my thoughts are so riddled with jealousy but how can I be ok with the woman I love doing things for me and someone else when all my focus is just on her. It's as if I only get half of her but she would get the whole of both of us. I'm afraid to tell her that I feel as of right now I'm going to say no to this and lose her. I thought we would be together the two of us forever. Furthermore, having two kids I'm not sure I want them to see this. I would be more ok with trying this if it wasn't for having kids. I think I really need some advice and some understanding from anyone else out there who has or is going through this. S
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