The other thing to keep in mind when finding someone is that feelings I find are like the ocean, they ebb and flow, dictating how that person needs to feel right off the bat is another expectation.
*we want partner to want and care about us both equally is expectation I am referring to.
For me personally as the bi female whom is often asked to be part of threesome or unicorn situation, I know that feelings will come at their own time and pace. And that for me taking in two new relationships at once isn't an accurate way to measure how I feel for people. One connection in the couple may be intense and friendly and sexual, and one may be calming, loving and gentle. They will grow and take their course at their own pace.
Also I have an emotional cap on a new person I can invest in while in throes of nre, there is science behind why the brain and body even creates nre. (Dopamine) so you're not only going looking for a needle in a hay stack you're going against biology. Which would definitely limit that finite pool even more, and stop the potentional right person from just feeling what they feel when they feel it and a That Being Ok.
The expectations of
A) I need to be ready for you
And B) I need to be immediately into both of you equally. (How would I even quantify that ?)
Is would what would put me off.
A could be let go of completely to widen your limited pool search,
And B could be altered to, take the journey at everyone's comfortable pace, with the woman expected to be human and have differing feelings but realise that is only true in this moment, not nessecaricarily true for ever.
If I were a couple looking for me, I would search more for a mutual friend that is open minded and without agenda, and if it happens it happens. I would be more into a couple who want to know me long term, want to know me individually and collectively outside what I look like, earn, can do for them, etc. etc.....what can you bring to her she can't already bring to herself?
Go read more than two.