Thread: Balance?
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Old 04-07-2013, 03:00 PM
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Marcus Marcus is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Portland, OR
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Originally Posted by BoringGuy View Post
You seem to have the opposite phenomenon at work in your living room, where you think you see an elephant but in fact you need to be glad there isn't one pooping on your floor.
The feeling that you [OP] need balance is a fantasy attributed to a real situation. You're imagining this elephant, when really there's nothing that interesting going on. Women (in the US) are by and large going to have an easier time finding new partners than men are. It's just the way our society is set up - no matter how we might feel about it.

Sounds like you don't have a lot of dating opportunity and are a little discouraged. Sucks. But this is something that happens to single people (and many "monogamous" people) all the time.

Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
You want to feel better in your relationship with your wife? Ask for what you need from her. That doesn't mean necessarily vetoing her other relationships, but if there are things she is neglecting you need to ask for her to give you more attention.
Balance is a dumb reason to date. If you want something that isn't just leaping into your lap - put some work into it. Work that happens on *your* end, not on your wife's end. She needs to decide what shes going to do (if anything), you need to decide what you're going to do.

Romance slipping? Wine and dine her, sing her a song, eat her out while she watches her favorite TV show.
Not enough time with her? Ask her for a date and schedule it out if you need to (as suggested by Cindie).
Sexually unfulfilled? Go online to OKCupid and see who's in your area. Maybe your wife can keep an eye out for recommendations since she sounds a bit more social.

Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
I would also make sure you have a well-rounded fulfilling life whether she is there by your side or not. Friends, activities, passions, so that she isn't the center of your universe.
Me: male, 43, straight, non-hierarchical, independent
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