I guess this is the deep end...

I've recently put up another blog on a different site for me to sort out thoughts and feelings there without fueling any more drama.
I'm also posting my art on the same site, if anybody's interested in that. As an artist, I'm always looking for feedback!

If anyone would like a link, feel free to contact me.
 
I hope this is what you need and helps you.

Like I told you before, my door is always open.
 
Thank you, but no. I think we had best leave this at a polite but firm "Goodbye."

Your stuff is boxed up and ready to be returned.

I will send it to Darkon next weekend, along with your ring. I did not want that back.

The box of your things will be sent through Hound, or Havoc if you prefer.

Do not come to pick it up.

Do not contact me again.

Do not send anybody else to talk to me on your behalf.

Respect my decision, and stay out of my life.

Goodbye.
 
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Cricket and Karma,

Sending along a hug in this rough time for you and your loved ones.

Cricket-sad to see you go off the forum, but totally understand the need for distance to prevent ugliness-I think that's smart.

Speaking as a member only, not a moderator, I think your last post was going the opposite way than the one that you are aiming for. Posting such tender, private, break-up stuff on an open forum is opening the door to inflaming the situation further.

I think you were right on to realize that the anger between you is toxic and must dissipate before you can come to terms with it. In the meantime-think before you post online. Unfortunately, it is now one of the things that may constitute a "big decision" that you are not supposed to make in the midst of grieving or in times of trauma because it hangs around forever (I get out the old pen and paper. It feels fiercer to scribble madly anyway, and helps me).

Best wishes to you and yours. Be nice to yourself.
-R
 
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Speaking as a member only, not a moderator, I think your last post was going the opposite way than the one that you are aiming for. Posting such tender, private, break-up stuff on an open forum is opening the door to inflaming the situation further.

I think you were right on to realize that the anger between you is toxic and must dissipate before you can come to terms with it. In the meantime-think before you post online. Unfortunately, it is now one of the things that may constitute a "big decision" that you are not supposed to make in the midst of grieving or in times of trauma because it hangs around forever (I get out the old pen and paper. It feels fiercer to scribble madly anyway, and helps me).

Best wishes to you and yours. Be nice to yourself.
-R

Rarechild-

This was a helpful post. I will keep it in mind when I am in stream of consciousness on my blog. Glad I read this before continuing my MGA posts.
Thanks.
-MG
 
Cross-posted from CricketSong because it means this much to me:

It's time for people to stop deciding what they think I'm strong enough to face, and what they think I'm too weak to handle. It's time for people to stop talking down to me as if they think their words will break me. It's time for people to stop trying to call the shots on how I'm supposed to heal.

Nobody gets to make that call but me.

I am not alone in what I've endured, but many of the people who call me a "victim" have never been victimized. They don't realize the difference between a victim and a survivor.

Nobody gets to call me a victim, because I survived. I survived on my own strength, and I walked out on my own two feet. I chose to take responsibility for me, because he was out of control. I'm not alive today because I let other people call the shots for me. I'm not in love today because I let him tell me what I'm capable of because he shaves his face and I shave my legs. I'm not happy today because somebody told me I'm finally allowed to be. I'm not moving forward today because I listened to the people telling me I can't.

I'm alive because I took control.

I'm in love because I was brave enough to try.

I'm happy because I decided to be.

I'm moving forward because my heart told me I can.

Don't paint me into a corner by telling people how weak and traumatized I am. Don't box me up with the other broken dolls. Don't act like you know what it's like if you don't, don't compare your experiences to mine if you do. Everyone handles shit differently, and I'm handling this shit by not letting people piss in my cornflakes anymore.

Either jump in the car, or get the fuck out of my way, because I'm going somewhere better, fast, and I'm not gonna brake for fuckin' anything.

- Cricket
 
I've been working on a journal full of collages as a sort of art-therapy project.
The quote in your signature is totally going to get it's own page!
Thanks! :D
 
SlutWalk in DC this August.
I'm going.
I think I'm finally ready to be that ballsy.

The length of this dress ≠ a YES!
 
http://offthedeeps.blogspot.com/2011/06/taking-leap-ofsomething.html

This is a project I've been reluctant to start, but I think it's time, and that it needs to happen.

This will be my public account of my healing journey. It's public because other people need to know they're not alone, and because if there is any chance I can pass on helpful tips, or reassuring stories, or at the very least, make someone feel like they're not alone, I want to do it. I'm posting the link here, and a couple other places. Some folks here have expressed an interest. I recently found a similarly themed blog, and it has been incredibly helpful (and hard) for me.

I'll be leaving out the gory details of my history, because those aren't what need to be put out there - the coping skills I've learned from myself, other people, and therapists are.

I think our culture's taboo on the topic of rape, and the way they make victims feel like it's a secret shame that should not be discussed because it makes other people uncomfortable is ridiculous, and is why it still happens.
 
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I think our culture's taboo on the topic of rape, and the way they make victims feel like it's a secret shame that should not be discussed because it makes other people uncomfortable is ridiculous, and is why it still happens.

Agreed.
 
I think our culture's taboo on the topic of rape, and the way they make victims feel like it's a secret shame that should not be discussed because it makes other people uncomfortable is ridiculous, and is why it still happens.

Yes, it is ridiculous! And when the person who is dealing with such victimization and trying to put their life back together is called crazy and irrational, or expected to "get over it" quickly, even by those who were or are close to that person, that is even more ridiculous. But then, the kind of person who would look down on someone who'd been raped... ugh! They are exerting their own form of violation with their judgments. Such people are sociopaths without a shred of compassion, and would likely do things like guiltlessly steal from their friends if they had the chance. So we should never pay any mind to such judgmental idiots.

The important thing is to stand on your own two feet and stop seeing yourself as a victim, but rather as someone who has come through and defied another's attempt to victimize you. You're stronger and more powerful than that.
 
If you read some of my last posts there, that's been the theme of most of my recent personal work.

I spent a long time thinking of myself in terms of a victim, and letting other people tell me that's all I was. Then I realized that the people calling me a victim were people who had never had to get up off their back, pull their boots on, and run for their lives.

I get to define what I am, and what I am is done with bullshit. Tough choices and all, I'm so much better off now.
:)
 
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