Relationship issues/Sexual frustration

LovingRadiance

Active member
Here's a question for everyone.

Details:
You have relationship issues (poly-dynamic).
You're not interested in a FB.
You're a very sexual creature, very high sex-drive.
You don't mind masturbating-but it doesn't alleviate the physical or mental sense of "NEEDING" sex.

How do you get your sexual needs met in a healthy way?

(not leaving S.O. who you are allienated from feeling like your FB, not getting a FB, continuing to work on your issues w/o letting the sex take up all of your time)
 
Isn't part of the point of poly to be able to bring more people into your life to meet all needs In a safe loving way?

Maybe a new sexual partner needs to be courted. Not sure I understand enough to offer any ideas though.
 
Well - I suggest you/they GET interested in a FB !
Or several if necessary.

This is the typical catch 22. You want and need something but put all kinds of restrictions around it so it can never realistically be achieved.

Only humans do stupid shit like this lol :)

GS
 
Is this about Maca, or you? Because you've got GG right there... I don't understand why he's off limits, quite. He's a trusted friend and the bio father of one of your kids!
 
fuck buddy
 
fuck buddy

Thanks

Is the assumption here that the other person doesn't have the same level sex drive?

If so, and it's a poly dynamic, why not find someone who may fulfill that need, while also fulfilling the poly requirement. Is there something stopping that type of search.
 
Not me.
This person has a high sex drive, is pretty serious about not having sex unless in a relationship (at least in theory).
But, doesn't have the opportunity due to living situation to see either of their lovers daily at a time and place conducive to sex. 3-4 times a week, yes. But not daily and it "wears thin".
 
Oh, so this mysterious person does get to have sex 3 or 4 times a week? That's pretty damn good. Personally, I'd love to have sex every day, and only get to have it about 3-4 times a week. My only suggestion, from personal experience, is, make those 3 or 4 times with a partner(s) as good as possible, and get better at masturbation.

I think fuck buddies count as a relationship, myself. 2 people relating to each other, even if it's mostly sexual.... still a relationship.

Maybe find a nice cybersex partner as well... it can be a bit more fun than just doing it alone.
 
Maybe find a nice cybersex partner as well... it can be a bit more fun than just doing it alone.

Or get a custom blow-up doll and a tape recorder. Throw some technological nostalgia in there for good measure. Maybe "they" could turn that into some kind of fetish and get a two-for.


Good morning Sunday!
 
Not me.
This person has a high sex drive, is pretty serious about not having sex unless in a relationship (at least in theory).
But, doesn't have the opportunity due to living situation to see either of their lovers daily at a time and place conducive to sex. 3-4 times a week, yes. But not daily and it "wears thin".

Well, more info changes the context here.
2-4 times a week is pretty good for most people with anything else going on in their lives. Seems masturbation should be able to fill in the gaps there for a majority of people. If that's really that unsatisfying I think they need to work on connecting a bit more to reality. We can't always get what we want ALL the time. That's just how life is. To fight that and allow it to become a real problem in our life that's worth talking about says something about the person's emotional state/capability. Giving in to it would feed the part of our brain that makes us prone to addictions etc and that can be a bigger long term problem. Learning to deal with life's little disappointments is a big part of healthy mental balance.

Maybe..........

gs
 
We can't always get what we want ALL the time. That's just how life is. To fight that and allow it to become a real problem in our life that's worth talking about says something about the person's emotional state/capability. Giving in to it would feed the part of our brain that makes us prone to addictions etc and that can be a bigger long term problem. Learning to deal with life's little disappointments is a big part of healthy mental balance.

Maybe..........

gs

To that end, I would suggest volunteering at a hospice or a homeless shelter in order to gain some perspective. If that doesn't work, SSRI's have been known to generate results, as has cognitive-behavioural therapy.
 
This person is feeling alienated from their SO, and really only has enjoyable sex when the other person/people are involved? That doesn't sound like a healthy foundation for a sustainable poly dynamic.
 
Giving in to it would feed the part of our brain that makes us prone to addictions etc and that can be a bigger long term problem. Learning to deal with life's little disappointments is a big part of healthy mental balance.

That was my thought. But, my thoughts are not tinged kindly right now, thus I asked all of you instead. Thanks everyone.
 
This person is feeling alienated from their SO, and really only has enjoyable sex when the other person/people are involved? That doesn't sound like a healthy foundation for a sustainable poly dynamic.

yes and no. This person alienates themself from their partner.
But this issue is that due to location of where they live, they can now only see their SO overnight a 2-4 times a week and their other partner once every couple a weeks. Used to being able to have sex any day of any week. But, in light of their new living arrangement, only 3-4 times a week.

Shrug.

I just wanted to gain perspective from some people on the outside, so I could filter my response more appropriately.
;)
 
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