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Old 01-04-2010, 07:00 PM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
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Originally Posted by quila View Post
I also have to agree that I've always thought there was something missing from "friends with benefits," because it implies other friendships don't have benefits.
I am not sure I like the term "friends with benefits" for this reason also. I am not so sure having sex with friends is always a benefit actually. Sometimes it hinders friendship I would think. I prefer the term "intimate friends" when referring to friends I have sex with as a part of our friendship. Somehow it seems to add more respect for the connection that sex gives a relationship. "Fuck buddy" for me is something I have done while drunk with someone and had no connection to myself or the person. Such as when I was swinging (although I know some actually have friendship relationships with those they swing with, I never did, hence my belief here for myself). Anyone I have slept with otherwise I know intimate things about in some way, from their body or how they respond sexually. That to me denotes an intimacy that is not a "benefit" because they are not "giving" it to me but sharing and I with them.

Maybe "intimate friend" is just a bit deeper than "fuck buddy." for some it may be. I will have to think more about what I think on this... I think for now I see the terms in order of no connection to friendly connection as such; "fuck buddy," "friends with benefits" and then "intimate friends."

Actually, it seems to me that I have a scale from "fuck buddy" to the relationship depth I have with my husband and boyfriend. Each time I go up that scale with someone the other is not left behind but they all become a part of the relationship. Once a "fuck buddy" for me turns into a "friend with benefits" the latter is not lost kind of thing. I have just gained more depth I think. For me and my two men we do all of the above it seems, just depending on the mood or quality of intimacy we wanting to engage in.
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Last edited by NeonKaos; 01-04-2010 at 07:07 PM. Reason: merge posts
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