I was reading here last week, and followed a link... I'm not sure now where to. The part I was hoping to look through again was a list of reasons why a primary couple may have rules, and what they are looking to protect by using them.
Also-if you followed a link to another site,
check out www.xeromag.com (Ceoli and I and a few others OFTEN post links to this site, he has GREAT articles and I believe there are a couple about THAT topic)
lol, I LOVE xeromag! When I'm having a problem that's the first place I head!
He's got a wonderful way of putting a comical spin on just about any subject! Who else would have thought to parallell jealousy with fixing a refrigerator? lol
He's also on one of my poly discussion groups and almost always makes me think.
The guy who created the xeromag.com site also has a live journal. I once posted a link to one of his journal entries that was titled "Some evolving thoughts on veto".