joedad85
New member
Maybe writing this will help me process my thoughts and emotions…
Tonight I told my wife that ideally I would have more than one love in my life. She took it surprisingly well and even managed to make a joke, something along the lines of “You mean I get to have two men now?” Later, she said she didn’t really know what to think and would need some time to digest it all.
Her initial thought was that it would only be a matter of time before I no longer wanted to be with her. The example she used was “What if I met a rich man that could take me on all the expensive trips to foreign countries that I wanted? Wouldn’t you be worried that I wouldn’t come back?” To which I replied, “Why wouldn’t you come back if you loved me?” She didn’t have much of a response to that and just said that perhaps she wouldn’t feel like she needed me any longer.
I tried to reassure her that I loved her and that no one could replace her in my heart. “Think of all the years and experiences we’ve had together!” I said. She acknowledged that but then reiterated her previous statement that I would eventually tire of her if I had someone else to love. “I can see the progression already,” she said. “You would start out as friends but your feelings would grow stronger. Soon there wouldn’t be any place for me in your life.”
We finally agreed that we both needed to have some time to process our feelings. She is now upstairs in our bedroom, focusing on paperwork for her job. I’m sitting in the living room, hoping that she isn’t crying silently, thinking that her entire life has been shattered.
What comes next? Only time will tell.
If you have any advice please feel free to offer it. I didn’t want to have this discussion with my wife, but I could no longer keep my needs suppressed, twenty-one years is long enough, and I had promised her that I would always be honest with her.
Thanks for reading this.
Tonight I told my wife that ideally I would have more than one love in my life. She took it surprisingly well and even managed to make a joke, something along the lines of “You mean I get to have two men now?” Later, she said she didn’t really know what to think and would need some time to digest it all.
Her initial thought was that it would only be a matter of time before I no longer wanted to be with her. The example she used was “What if I met a rich man that could take me on all the expensive trips to foreign countries that I wanted? Wouldn’t you be worried that I wouldn’t come back?” To which I replied, “Why wouldn’t you come back if you loved me?” She didn’t have much of a response to that and just said that perhaps she wouldn’t feel like she needed me any longer.
I tried to reassure her that I loved her and that no one could replace her in my heart. “Think of all the years and experiences we’ve had together!” I said. She acknowledged that but then reiterated her previous statement that I would eventually tire of her if I had someone else to love. “I can see the progression already,” she said. “You would start out as friends but your feelings would grow stronger. Soon there wouldn’t be any place for me in your life.”
We finally agreed that we both needed to have some time to process our feelings. She is now upstairs in our bedroom, focusing on paperwork for her job. I’m sitting in the living room, hoping that she isn’t crying silently, thinking that her entire life has been shattered.
What comes next? Only time will tell.
If you have any advice please feel free to offer it. I didn’t want to have this discussion with my wife, but I could no longer keep my needs suppressed, twenty-one years is long enough, and I had promised her that I would always be honest with her.
Thanks for reading this.