Apparently I am in the mood to dig up old threads
Poking around in old threads today and came across this one - thought I'd revive it.
Reading through these posts it actually made be feel good to realize that I DON'T have a number of these insecurities. I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder (treated) and realizing that there are so many more things that could bother me that DON'T - I'm feeling pretty good about myself.
For instance, a common insecurity people are mentioning is "feeling left out." Nope - I'm all good on that one. The boys have lots of friends and like to socialize much more than I do. I like being invited, but usually choose to stay home by myself (ahhhhh....quiet). I like that they can go and enjoy themselves without forcing me to come along. They come home and tell me stories and I am just glad that they had a great time.
I also don't have insecurities about being "x enough" (x = smart, sexy, interesting, etc.) I am what I am and people who like me like me for who I am. Not saying that I am perfect or anything
(I could stand to lose another 10 pounds for instance) but I'm happy with myself, I think I am actually a pretty nifty person
.
MY INSECURITIES:
Emotional Vulnerability - I am NOT good at this. It takes me a very long time to admit that I have feelings. It makes me squirm and want to run away. (NO IDEA where this comes from - I have never been emotionally hurt, never been heart-broken, I don't know why I fear this so much.) Now that my current relationships are out of the NRE phase this has gotten a LOT better.
Not Having/Sticking To a Plan - Like RedPepper:
I love rules, boundaries, protocol, procedure, and if there isn't any then I seek it out as I feel insecure.
I like to know when/where/what/who the day is going to look like so I can plan accordingly. I think this stems from my need for lots of alone/quiet time - I need to prepare and charge up for social interactions, which requires that I know what they are going to be.
This one does cause problems - while MrS is not a planner himself, he is fine with accommodating MY need for structure; Dude, on the other hand, is pretty much an ANTI-planner - won't make one, won't commit to one, won't follow through on one - wants NO constraints on his time/freedom/attention, desires absolute spontaneity in all things - drives me NUTS (we are working on it).
Those are the two big one's I can think of right now (I'm sure there are more)...
JaneQ
Addendum: on LYING - this is not so much an insecurity as a dealbreaker - I had a friend once that I found out was systematically lying to me - she is no longer my friend. I also refuse to "hold secrets" for other people - if it is something that I have to remember to NOT tell someone else, or could result in ME having to lie for YOU, then don't tell me...period. (Which isn't to say that I relate everything I hear to everyone else, I don't, some conversations are "private" - I am very, very good at "private" but that is not the same as "secret".)