I'm looking for some advice around a situation I have found myself having a challenge on how to discuss with my friend T. A brief history first...
I have a friend T that I met online a couple of months ago, that I started a sexual relationship with. This is/was new to me, as well as my wife M, and it has helped our marriage tremendously for me to have T as a lover.
When we started having sex, we had a safer sex discussion, and we have been not using protection. I have been tested, and she says she gets tested yearly. This has felt fine for me, as well as M & T based on how the conversation went.
The problem I have now, is that now that T is more a friend of mine/ours, she is more open about the extent of her other sexual partners. I was under the impression that she had a couple of other men in her life, and that she practiced safe sex.
Now, I have found out she has around 10 lovers, and is having a heck of a lot of 'fun'. Sometimes with a few of them in a day. My impression is that since she has come out of a horrible controlling marriage, she is now on a bit of a rampage. She has expressed needing to tame down her 'harem', and that she may have a problem (tongue in cheek)...
My gut tells me that she is not having safe sex with them, and this is the same feeling that M has too. For us, it is becoming a safety issue, not to mention that I have some feelings around what I thought our relationship is.
I am fine with T having whatever relationships she wishes, but I am feeling like this is not something I am comfortable with.
I've not been in this situation before, and need some advice on how to discuss it with T without making her feel like she is dirty, or being judged.
I have a friend T that I met online a couple of months ago, that I started a sexual relationship with. This is/was new to me, as well as my wife M, and it has helped our marriage tremendously for me to have T as a lover.
When we started having sex, we had a safer sex discussion, and we have been not using protection. I have been tested, and she says she gets tested yearly. This has felt fine for me, as well as M & T based on how the conversation went.
The problem I have now, is that now that T is more a friend of mine/ours, she is more open about the extent of her other sexual partners. I was under the impression that she had a couple of other men in her life, and that she practiced safe sex.
Now, I have found out she has around 10 lovers, and is having a heck of a lot of 'fun'. Sometimes with a few of them in a day. My impression is that since she has come out of a horrible controlling marriage, she is now on a bit of a rampage. She has expressed needing to tame down her 'harem', and that she may have a problem (tongue in cheek)...
My gut tells me that she is not having safe sex with them, and this is the same feeling that M has too. For us, it is becoming a safety issue, not to mention that I have some feelings around what I thought our relationship is.
I am fine with T having whatever relationships she wishes, but I am feeling like this is not something I am comfortable with.
I've not been in this situation before, and need some advice on how to discuss it with T without making her feel like she is dirty, or being judged.