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Old 06-27-2020, 01:21 AM
GalaGirl GalaGirl is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2012
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I love A very much, but for lack of a better word, they are a bit lazy. They don’t clean very much and create more than half of the mess in the home (B is kind of a neat freak and ends up cleaning after A, which I also feel bad for and try to help).
Sounds like A needs to get it together with cleaning their fair share.

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I just don’t know what to do. We were engaged before B came along, but now I’m wondering if marrying A is the right move.
Well, a successful engagement period ends in one of two ways to me.

1) The couple thinks long and hard and does all the talks. Take the marriage prep class at their house of worship, online, extension office, etc. They decide they are NOT deeply compatible and end the engagement. They do NOT get married. Small win for both -- because ending engagement is cheaper than paying for a weddding and a divorce later down.

2) The couple thinks long and hard and does all the talks. Take the marriage prep class at their house of worship, online, extension office, etc. They decide they ARE deeply compatible and end the engagement period because they plan to get married. NOW they start planning a wedding. Win for both because they know what they are getting into, have something of a plan, have confirmed they have shared values, etc.

I often see people just jump to wedding planning without doing the work of Engagement. I don't know why they do that. They are caught up in wedding party stuff like outfits and DJs and menus... but not putting the same or more energy planning the marital union.

I think it goes better over all for the couples who do the marriage prep classes and REALLY consider what marriage means.

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If I have children with both partner A and B, I worry that myself and B will become solely responsible for providing for them, and possibly only B if I can’t work during pregnancy or illness.
Well, that is a risk.

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I hate letting money become a factor in my relationships.
Love may be infinite, but resources of time, energy, finances, gas, distance, and more are not. We all have to work within our own scope.

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Thank you for your help everyone. I’ll try to not let Partner A’s moods let me feel guilty.
Good.

Galagirl

Last edited by GalaGirl; 06-27-2020 at 01:25 AM.
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