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Old 07-21-2014, 12:33 PM
nycindie's Avatar
nycindie nycindie is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 10,083

Why do they believe that your friendship with this other person would take time away from them only if it turned sexual/romantic? Don't you ever spend time with this person and other friends? If you do, then any time you spend with platonic friends takes time away from them too (as if they own your time to begin with). Going out on a date with someone your romantically involved with wouldn't be much different than going to a movie with a friend.

I think the time issue is possibly an excuse to cover up other issues, or is wrapped up in whatever beliefs they have about what kinds of commitments you would "have to" make in an additional romantic relationship.

Originally Posted by younglove View Post
I guess I just don't like the feeling that I cannot pursue my feelings for someone just yet (or possibly at all) because of previous assumed limits. And I am also worried that my husband and boyfriend are going to really disagree with time being their reason. My husband in a way said that he would prefer if he met someone first before I dated another person - which I said is keeping score and unfair - but he said it's not keeping score he just doesnt want to be alone even more of the time.
I think you need to keep reiterating that you live life on your terms and no one else's, and that they may not be fully understanding what having another relationship would entail for you. It is also not your responsibility to make sure your husband utilizes his time alone better. He could be going out and meeting people now if he wants. Limiting what you do won't make how he uses his time any different.
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Last edited by nycindie; 07-21-2014 at 12:39 PM.
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