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Old 07-21-2014, 05:31 AM
younglove younglove is offline
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: west coast
Posts: 20

So, a little bit of time has passed since I was here last with this question.

With the jokes, they were actually always in my favor and never negative. In a way I think they have opened the dialogue up a little bit. I have talked to my boyfriend and my husband a little bit more about the situation and presented the idea that we will talk about it more officially and together when he [husband] gets back.

One thing is that I do need to be aware of my polysaturation - and I am about to start a new job and move to a new home, and I also found out a close family member is ill - So I do need to be cautious about taking on another partner just from that alone.

I think from the conversations I have had with them thus far, that they are mostly concerned with the time they'll get to spend with me. They each view it as "half time" right now with the 7th day of the week being a "me day" and are worried that a new partner will afford them considerably less time. I presented the idea that a new partner would take on the role of a secondary since my husband and boyfriend are both very primary and I can really only handle two primary relationships and as of right now the potential 3rd person I have in mind now I am completely comfortable with it being a secondary relationship.

I do wish I was more free to choose the number of partners I have and test out if I want to pursue relationships there... Although, I generally take a long time being friends with people before it gets too far.. and it's also very important to me that my husband and boyfriend meet potential partners and get a sense of if hes a good person/nice guy etc..

But once they've met them and like them - I would like to more freely explore if I would want to pursue a relationship. Right now, I am in this awkward stage of liking a friend (which I have told everyone involved that I like him) where I can't really step over the forbidden "line" of "more than friends" and I am wondering if I will necessarily *want* to pursue a relationship with this person or not still. I almost feel like if that line is ever lifted, that there will be this awkward "now we can!" stage that I wish wasnt there and instead things could happen more naturally.

I guess I just don't like the feeling that I cannot pursue my feelings for someone just yet (or possibly at all) because of previous assumed limits. And I am also worried that my husband and boyfriend are going to really disagree with time being their reason. My husband in a way said that he would prefer if he met someone first before I dated another person - which I said is keeping score and unfair - but he said it's not keeping score he just doesnt want to be alone even more of the time.
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