Nervous

I am so thankful for my loves these days. There's so much going on with work and with the derby board that having listening ears around is a very good thing. Although I do feel like the endless whine at the moment. I'm trying to see the positive in things but the stress keeps leaking out and colouring everything with snippyness (which according to spell check isn't a word :)). Some days I really have no idea why anyone wants anything to do with me at all. I seem to alternate between exhaustion and crankyness. I sure as heck wouldn't want to talk or hang out with me.

I know that this is all temporary and that things will settle down again. I'm looking for that light at the end of the tunnel. At least the sun is shining today and being that it's a clinic day things are pretty quiet around here. Although I managed to piss off a coworker by enforcing the rules again. If everyone just followed the rules in the first place things would just go smooth. I don't like being the bad guy and telling people they can't just do things their way if it doesn't work with the rules that we have in place. But you can't have rules that apply to some people and not to others or they aren't rules anymore.
 
Tonight I'm sending my husband and his other love out for the night for his birthday. They haven't had a lot of time alone since she moved out here. They have different work schedules and life stuff comes up. My husband needs the chance to just be able to be himself. When we go out together I'm still his wife with all the joys and worries that come along with that. It's hard for us to go out and to just focus on being 2 people having fun together (we do have fun together but there's usually a serious discussion about kids or finances or renos ect during our dates). I know that going out with his other love allows him the opportunity to not have to think about all of that just for a night. Plus I wanted to do this for them to let them know that I really am happy for them to have their relationship.

In a way I'm being a little selfish as well. I get to have the evening to myself in my house. I'm going to put a girly movie on and maybe make myself a drink and watch my movie in front of the fireplace. I haven't had a self date in a long time. I've been neglecting myself as my own primary. Time to refocus tonight!

Tomorrow RP and I are going out to a fund raiser put on by my derby team. The place is kind of a dive but it's still going to be a good time and if the band really sucks there are always other places to go! I'm really looking forward to my weekend. :D
 
Tomorrow RP and I are going out to a fund raiser put on by my derby team. The place is kind of a dive but it's still going to be a good time and if the band really sucks there are always other places to go! I'm really looking forward to my weekend. :D

You guys.....errr girls...oops! sorry...women will be a sexy couple for sure :) Enjoy your night alone and your tomorrow night with your girlfriend :)
 
My husband left me some chocolates, a note and my favourite beer for my self date night. I'm watching eat, pray, love and having my beer :)
 
My husband left me some chocolates, a note and my favourite beer for my self date night. I'm watching eat, pray, love and having my beer :)

Is that a good movie?

I want to do a girl's night in... watch movies, drink wine/beer, eat chocolate and watch a chick flick.
 
It was pretty good, definitely had some good lines. I think next girl night in will have to involve some other girls and some wine and giggles!
 
"The easy A" was an awesome movie. Maybe we could make a night out of that for our women friends. Ha! I wonder what our friends would think of it actually. We would have to leave time for discussion.

Glad you had a good night Derby. Can't wait to see you later today. Although I'm a bit disappointed because I have a cold sore. Boo hoo, no kissing... :(
 
ya know sometimes folks don't know how to phrase things and 'asking for permission" is really just a way of telling you... at least that's my experience
 
Glad you had a good night Derby. Can't wait to see you later today. Although I'm a bit disappointed because I have a cold sore. Boo hoo, no kissing... :(

I can still kiss you, just not on the lips :D
 
Yep I'm pretty sure I'm not a guy, I haven't been mistaken for a boy since I was 9. :p
 
I've been doing a lot of reading on the forums for the past couple of days and it struck me how far I've come in my journey. There are things that I see people struggling with that not long ago I was struggling with too. So what have I learnt over the past 8 months?

1. Being happy with what you have is far easier than wishing for a life you think would be perfect.
2. There is enough love to go around.
3. You don't have to be best friends with a metamour but being friendly with them is a definite bonus.
4. If you don't talk about it don't expect your partner(s) to know what's going on in your head.
5. If you're coming from a place of caring and respect your instincts are probably right.
6. Jealousy has a reason behind it, it takes self work to get to that reason, but understanding yourself is so worth it.
7. Communicating things in more than one way has it's benefits.
8. My partner's other relationships and what they do in the context of those relationships have nothing to do with my relationships with my partners.
9. All the turmoil was temporary. Knowing that now I expect all future turmoil to be temporary as well.

To all of you who are in the midst of the struggle there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Once you've embarked on this journey your life isn't likely to return to the normal you used to have but you will find a new normal with peace and joy and love.

-Derby (who needs a new blog since "nervous" just doesn't seem fitting anymore)
 
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I've been doing a lot of reading on the forums for the past couple of days and it struck me how far I've come in my journey. There are things that I see people struggling with that not long ago I was struggling with too. So what have I learnt over the past 8 months?

1. Being happy with what you have is far easier than wishing for a life you think would be perfect.
2. There is enough love to go around.
3. You don't have to be best friends with a metamour but being friendly with them is a definite bonus.
4. If you don't talk about it don't expect your partner(s) to know what's going on in your head.
5. If you're coming from a place of caring and respect your instincts are probably right.
6. Jealousy has a reason behind it, it takes self work to get to that reason, but understanding yourself is so worth it.
7. Communicating things in more than one way has it's benefits.
8. My partner's other relationships and what they do in the context of those relationships have nothing to do with my relationships with my partners.
9. All the turmoil was temporary. Knowing that now I expect all future turmoil to be temporary as well.

To all of you who are in the midst of the struggle there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Once you've embarked on this journey your life isn't likely to return to the normal you used to have but you will find a new normal with peach and joy and love.

-Derby (who needs a new blog since "nervous" just doesn't seem fitting anymore)


WOW thanks for this post!
 
I've been doing a lot of reading on the forums for the past couple of days and it struck me how far I've come in my journey. There are things that I see people struggling with that not long ago I was struggling with too. So what have I learnt over the past 8 months?

1. Being happy with what you have is far easier than wishing for a life you think would be perfect.
2. There is enough love to go around.
3. You don't have to be best friends with a metamour but being friendly with them is a definite bonus.
4. If you don't talk about it don't expect your partner(s) to know what's going on in your head.
5. If you're coming from a place of caring and respect your instincts are probably right.
6. Jealousy has a reason behind it, it takes self work to get to that reason, but understanding yourself is so worth it.
7. Communicating things in more than one way has it's benefits.
8. My partner's other relationships and what they do in the context of those relationships have nothing to do with my relationships with my partners.
9. All the turmoil was temporary. Knowing that now I expect all future turmoil to be temporary as well.

To all of you who are in the midst of the struggle there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Once you've embarked on this journey your life isn't likely to return to the normal you used to have but you will find a new normal with peach and joy and love.

-Derby (who needs a new blog since "nervous" just doesn't seem fitting anymore)

Great summary of some key points in poly relationships :)
 
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