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Old 04-11-2011, 10:58 PM
koifish koifish is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 71

He likes giving affection, he loves loving, he loves taking care of people, and he's great at commitment. In retrospect it becomes a little more obvious that he was enjoying this situation, whereas the GF and I were just trying to make it work. And not that often being successful at it.

If we try this again, it will have to be different.

I am recovering well, and GF is recovering well from the breakup. We are going to be good friends, I think. That's sort of what we mostly were anyways.

I have found a lot of peace in thinking about the stages of grief (I think he is in stage III - anger) and that some people experience the anger stage so intensely that they lash out and damage or permanently destroy relationships. They resent and blame those who are closest to them regardless of actual fault.

So. I'm taking a deep breath. This is the man I have committed my life to. I will let him know that it's okay for him to feel angry and to want space, and that I love him and will be there for him. I will honor his grieving process. It's out of my hands anyways. I also think it's interesting how I'm probably seeing him at close to his worst even before we get married. It's weirdly freeing.
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