View Single Post
Old 01-05-2018, 08:12 AM
Valynn's Avatar
Valynn Valynn is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Long Island, NY
Posts: 110
Default How I realized Polyamory/ Non-monogamy was for me

It's kinda hard to explain. Out of the 5 LT relationships I have had, 4 have been mono that turned poly that ended it.
After re-reading this from a thread I started back in 2016. I lied I these were not poly situations. I cheated on them, plain and simple. I wanted to make myself look better.
#1- My first bf & relationship, ended after I got "too frisky" (kissing while tipsy) other male friend at party.
#2 - Male from party & I date. His former GF, another girl friend & I play kissing games regularly with him. He is HEAVY into BDSM, leads to abuse.
He also accused me of being disinterested in him, only after he asked me to fantasize about a friend whom just happened to be...
#3- Medievalist friend & I. Dated 4 months, got pregnant, married. While marriage is failing (Husband undiagnosed bipolar, emotional & mental abuse) we got close to another male medievalist. I fall for M2. M1 is jealous, accuses me of cheating. Divorced after 8yrs of marriage.
I admit I cheated, I slept with M2 behind M1's back.

3 years later....
#4- Male met on dating site. Said he was agoraphobic, would only see me late in the evening (2am & later), mainly to go to a hotel and fuck. While satisfying in the short run, quickly got boring for me. He suggested swinging where he would be the primary to find & set up the parties. He got me my first bi experience. Her & I got too close. And he began to become SUPER jealous. He broke up with me after I didn't call or text him after I had returned from a gaming convention I worked at. Same weekend I found some pictures of him with another woman on a SD card he had given me. Good riddance.
I got a taste of my own medicine and was cheated on.

At this time I began to play around with Sir, a married medievalist friend. We have a soft D/s relationship.

My last relationship was what I called "an amorphous configuration of friendship". I had a crush on my friend W (bi male, says he's poly). Our other friend & W's housemate B (straight male) had a crush on me. I entered this arrangement knowing that I was having sex with both W & B. That wasn't the problem. W didn't want labels. And cause he was so afraid of attachments he wanted all of us "to be free to come and go as we wanted." We had no official boundaries or rules.
This was the only poly relationship I had. What I thought was a triad with a poly person W. B said he was poly but he was really mono and just wanted to fuck. So it was a V with me as the hinge. I also realize now that W is a relationship anarchist.

Now I am hoping to start a non-monogamous relationship with Greg while seeing/playing with Sir in a V. Greg & I had only one date, but have had many phone conversations over the holidays. New year, new relationship!
Valynn (Me)- 46 F bi/poly/divorced
in a new triad with
Angela- 45 F Bi/mono/best friend
JR - 46 M Straight /mono/new to poly/Angela's live-in partner of 6 yrs
M'lord Sir- 56 M Straight/Married/Soft Dom/ Occasional Medieval Play Partner of Valynn's
Dexus- 21 M- son of Valynn. US Navy veteran
Elaine - 49 F- sister of Valynn

Last edited by Valynn; 01-05-2018 at 09:25 AM.
Reply With Quote