This might be complicated because lots of people and relational contexts, but please bear with me and feel free to ask questions for clarification.
I am married to my primary, P. Our relationship is semi-open, that is we both have veto power but we are not monogamous. Outside of our marriage I choose to be a relationship anarchist ("there need not be a formal distinction between sexual, romantic or platonic relationships" ie no labels or commitments). My husband and I live with three friends, K and A and J. K and A are engaged but non-monogamous, J is single. P and I have been intimate with K in the past and I am currently intimate with A. K also has a boyfriend in addition to her fiance, but that's pretty irrelevant.
We have a group of 4 friends who live together. E and K are best friends which is how we all met. F and E have been dating for 4 years, and they are both (somewhat functional) alcholics. B and S have been dating for several months. Both of these couples decided to become non-monogamous within the last few months.
After they opened up there relationship, I cautiously started seeing more of F. Like I said, no labels, but we did start becoming intimate, sleeping together, etc. Problem is, E has been talking about ending things with F for years, and now apparently sees this as an out. She has notoriously poor communication skills, and refuses to go to counseling with him. She also refuses to be the one to break up with him, but in the meantime is treating him terribly, saying hurtful things, giving him the silent treatment, and flirting with other people (pretty much every person in each of our houses except for my husband and I) during their conflicts. It recently got bad enough to the point where he was breaking from heartbreak and ended up moving out. It effected him by him cutting back on his alcohol use, but she has been drinking more and more every night. I'm worried for them both. I'm worried to possibly be caught in the middle, despite everybody involved assuring me I wont be and its not my fault. I'm worried how it looks from the outside. To some degree I know its my fault because I saw red flags from E, but followed my heart to F anyways.
Tensions are high in both houses, while people claim not to pick sides or faults in their breakup, it becomes obvious. My husband and I think E is acting like a child and has issues she is refusing to work through. We are worried about her frequent visits with our roommates causing problems down the line between them as well as between our house and F. K and T have chosen E, they talk and flirt on the phone every night until E passes out from alcohol. B and S both say they think F is being treated unfairly, but because they have to continue living with E and also because they are attracted to her, openly flirt with her in front of F while she gives him the silent treatment.
This whole thing is a mess, and I just want to do damage control without tangling myself up in anything. I hate the thought of F not visiting because the other people here make him uncomfortable. Not to mention we all have to be in K and A's wedding in six months. Any advice? Not on the past but on the present and future? I know where mistakes were made, I just want to know where to go from here.
I am married to my primary, P. Our relationship is semi-open, that is we both have veto power but we are not monogamous. Outside of our marriage I choose to be a relationship anarchist ("there need not be a formal distinction between sexual, romantic or platonic relationships" ie no labels or commitments). My husband and I live with three friends, K and A and J. K and A are engaged but non-monogamous, J is single. P and I have been intimate with K in the past and I am currently intimate with A. K also has a boyfriend in addition to her fiance, but that's pretty irrelevant.
We have a group of 4 friends who live together. E and K are best friends which is how we all met. F and E have been dating for 4 years, and they are both (somewhat functional) alcholics. B and S have been dating for several months. Both of these couples decided to become non-monogamous within the last few months.
After they opened up there relationship, I cautiously started seeing more of F. Like I said, no labels, but we did start becoming intimate, sleeping together, etc. Problem is, E has been talking about ending things with F for years, and now apparently sees this as an out. She has notoriously poor communication skills, and refuses to go to counseling with him. She also refuses to be the one to break up with him, but in the meantime is treating him terribly, saying hurtful things, giving him the silent treatment, and flirting with other people (pretty much every person in each of our houses except for my husband and I) during their conflicts. It recently got bad enough to the point where he was breaking from heartbreak and ended up moving out. It effected him by him cutting back on his alcohol use, but she has been drinking more and more every night. I'm worried for them both. I'm worried to possibly be caught in the middle, despite everybody involved assuring me I wont be and its not my fault. I'm worried how it looks from the outside. To some degree I know its my fault because I saw red flags from E, but followed my heart to F anyways.
Tensions are high in both houses, while people claim not to pick sides or faults in their breakup, it becomes obvious. My husband and I think E is acting like a child and has issues she is refusing to work through. We are worried about her frequent visits with our roommates causing problems down the line between them as well as between our house and F. K and T have chosen E, they talk and flirt on the phone every night until E passes out from alcohol. B and S both say they think F is being treated unfairly, but because they have to continue living with E and also because they are attracted to her, openly flirt with her in front of F while she gives him the silent treatment.
This whole thing is a mess, and I just want to do damage control without tangling myself up in anything. I hate the thought of F not visiting because the other people here make him uncomfortable. Not to mention we all have to be in K and A's wedding in six months. Any advice? Not on the past but on the present and future? I know where mistakes were made, I just want to know where to go from here.