I don't think most people want to, or even are capable of "sharing" in a relationship. I think thats sort of what poly is all about... thats ability to not get jealous or to work though jealousy if it comes up.
I would completely understand if I approached a single 20 some year old woman at a bar and she turned me down because I was not single. Pretty normal thing to do if you're of a mono mindset. But if you already are okay with open relationships, getting hung on Married vs. Living together seems like small peanuts. :/ I think I may have some things to discover on other reasons people would get into an open relationship... less wholesome reasons..... some things have crossed my mind in the last few days.
All is not lost for me. She still seems friendly but she is on vacation at the moment and we have not had much more then a half hour or so to chat. She also said she's up for anything, so a new friend is a possible outcome as well if she can't get over the married thing.
The more I have debated the issue in my head, I need to stay honest and open about being married. If I don't I am lying and compromising my honesty, hiding something from someone I want to love and have a relationship with and leaving the potential open for disaster if she finds out. Plus if I am going to let myself get emotionally close to someone I want be able to just be me and talk about my life openly and not worry. I would want her to do the same. I don't want her to go on and on and on about her primary, but heck, he's a huge part of her life and its her I am in this for, so hes gonna be a part of it and honestly, I want that.