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Old 03-29-2013, 10:55 PM
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Vixtoria Vixtoria is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 306

Originally Posted by Marcus View Post

I equate relationships with primary and secondary type titles to this kind of of stifling system. This is more pronounced when the titles given to partners come with a list of socially imposed assumptions; Husband and Wife are at the front of this list. No matter how enlightened a poly group may try to be, they are swimming against the current if they use these titles and expect to not live within what I would call a hierarchy. Titles are shorthand for descriptions of authority and responsibility, that's why they are convenient. I can say I'm someone's manager and pretty much stop there - they get what the dynamic is. With husband or wife I would argue that it is similarly stifling.
And this is where it comes in. No matter how open minded anyone tries to be, there is inherent prejudice. On poly groups there is a lot towards married couples. What I find exhausting, personally, is it comes from those NOT in a similar situation. To me, it's like me making assumptions about how 'stifling' and incorrect all the single people are. Watch the reversal. Have poly configurations that include marriage post something about the assumptions of single poly folk that live unattached. They would get lambasted.

So while I personally figure what works for you works for you, I don't get the same attitudes back. For the record you can argue about things being stifling but argue that you imagine it is stifling TO YOU. Let's stop making assumptions on other people's relationship configurations just because they wouldn't work for you huh?
Me: 40 pansexual poly.
DH: My husband of 21 yrs and father of 3 teen girls.
DC: LDR of +9 years/former
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