My wife and I have been together for 8 years in a mono relationship. Since I have known her, she has suffered from clinical depression, social anxiety disorder, and a little bit of borderline personality disorder. I have tried to be as supportive as I can regarding those things, and she is getting treatment, but it's slow. We are both introverts, and I know that I tend to worry about my partner's feelings way more than mine, but I am working on that.
N has always frequented chat rooms. she likes to role play, not always sexual. I was okay with that, because she explained that she has kinks that aren't really feasible in real life. In one of these chat rooms, she met G, who quickly fell for her. She would talk to other people and he would get extremely jealous. Their relationship became more personal and exclusive over the years. Ours deteriorated, but not to the point of ruin. She was always withdrawn, so I just assumed that it was her depression. I'd help as I could, but sometimes I couldn't do anything.
Since we both have issues communicating, we have gotten into the habit of writing each other emails when we have a pressing issue. It is almost always just pure emotion. Last week, I noticed her writing a long email, and we had kinda had a mini fight that evening, so I was expecting it for me. She went to bed, and I waited but never received it. I was worried that she might have sent a long and emotional email to a business that we were going to on the weekend, and I wanted to prepare for what she said, so I checked her sent email to see what it was. I know it was wrong, and I can't really say if I would do it again.
In her email, to another online friend, she said that she was madly in love with another man. She wanted to leave, but she couldn't go to him, because they had a huge fight and he basically didn't want anything to do with her. I was devastated. I knew our relationship was far from perfect, but I felt like she no longer wanted me. I went to bed, horribly depressed and unable to sleep, and started crying, waking her up. We talked for a while, her telling me that she still loved me(!) but loved him too. Over the last week or so, we have talked more than we have at any other time in our relationship.
I know I want to continue our relationship. She is currently visiting her sister for a week, trying to clear her head. We have both been reading "The Ethical Slut" and I have found a lot of good information both there and on here. I know it will be hard, and we have a lot to work through, but I have seen how supportive the people of this forum are, because I read through this thread over the weekend. And, I think right now, that's what I need. Not saying I WON'T need advice, I'm sure I will, but for now, thank you for reading and feel free to ask questions.
N has always frequented chat rooms. she likes to role play, not always sexual. I was okay with that, because she explained that she has kinks that aren't really feasible in real life. In one of these chat rooms, she met G, who quickly fell for her. She would talk to other people and he would get extremely jealous. Their relationship became more personal and exclusive over the years. Ours deteriorated, but not to the point of ruin. She was always withdrawn, so I just assumed that it was her depression. I'd help as I could, but sometimes I couldn't do anything.
Since we both have issues communicating, we have gotten into the habit of writing each other emails when we have a pressing issue. It is almost always just pure emotion. Last week, I noticed her writing a long email, and we had kinda had a mini fight that evening, so I was expecting it for me. She went to bed, and I waited but never received it. I was worried that she might have sent a long and emotional email to a business that we were going to on the weekend, and I wanted to prepare for what she said, so I checked her sent email to see what it was. I know it was wrong, and I can't really say if I would do it again.
In her email, to another online friend, she said that she was madly in love with another man. She wanted to leave, but she couldn't go to him, because they had a huge fight and he basically didn't want anything to do with her. I was devastated. I knew our relationship was far from perfect, but I felt like she no longer wanted me. I went to bed, horribly depressed and unable to sleep, and started crying, waking her up. We talked for a while, her telling me that she still loved me(!) but loved him too. Over the last week or so, we have talked more than we have at any other time in our relationship.
I know I want to continue our relationship. She is currently visiting her sister for a week, trying to clear her head. We have both been reading "The Ethical Slut" and I have found a lot of good information both there and on here. I know it will be hard, and we have a lot to work through, but I have seen how supportive the people of this forum are, because I read through this thread over the weekend. And, I think right now, that's what I need. Not saying I WON'T need advice, I'm sure I will, but for now, thank you for reading and feel free to ask questions.