bohemiangoddess
New member
I just feel I need to go somewhere to tell my story about my 5th breakup with the same person over a 2 year period.
I have nothing bad to say about my ex girlfriend. I love her and want her to be happy. We have had three major break ups that lasted months before we would get the back the together. The other two were minor last maybe a week.
This time is for good. She broke up with earlier in the week and now won't even speak to me.
Where to begin. I am single woman who was involved for two years with a married woman. My needs were never being met. My friends don't treat me the way she did. It all sounds so silly to sit here and type this out.
At one point she told me she wanted to split house holds and how I was the love of her life. How she could meet my needs and my needs and feelings were important. All this wonderful talk about the being together more.
Hubby told her no. He would never be ok with that. That he missed her the one time she would stay at my house. Then she turned around and told me she could only be a once a week g/f to me that this relationship was to casual for me and that she will never be able to meet my needs. That his feelings and needs will always come first. That I would always only get scraps. Asked why I needed a label on our relationship. Said let's just see where it naturally goes. All this very confusing me to me b.c earlier she could be all of those things.
Everytime I was at her house I could see the jealousy coming from her hubby. I could feel it. He got passive aggressive a few times.
Then suddenly she started ignoring my texts and emails for days. I ignored it and didn't say anything, but inside it was hurting me. My friends communicate with me more than her. I would text her hey what are you up to? Or where did you want to meet at tomorrow?
This happened quite a lot. I started to think maybe she is dating someone else and afraid to tell me. But than would think this is poly why would she do that.
Finally I had enough earlier in the week of this ignoring me tactic. I texted her after the last ignore saying if you arent that into me anymore just tell me. It's okay I still love ya.
No response. The next day she sent me a facebook message that her husband and her best friend had an intervention with her about me. That we are better off as friends to which I responded ok if that's what you want. I understand. That this isn't working. That I am not happy with the relationship.
No response back.
So I sent her a message back asking again about the are you just not into me anymore. Maybe you are the one not happy in this relationship with me.
No response back.
At this point I am pretty upset. SO I asked her to send my house keys back to me to which she responded come to my event at my house this Sunday.
I was shocked. I told her no. You have hurt me repeatedly. No more.
She then called me emotionally manipulative, complicated and something else. Then blocked me on facebook. I texted her saying real mature. Break up with me over Facebook than block me. Why can't you tell me the truth? Is there someone else? Are you just not into me anymore?
She responds go away.
So I wait a few days and emailed her to say I am not angry at you. I am not even mad. HOw I love her and hope someday we can be in each others lives again as friends. Told her she was right in that I wasn't happy. My needs were not getting met.
Ignore. This was two days ago.
This tells me something else was going on. Maybe I was correct in my assumptions.
Also I am in no way innocent. I was pretty angry at her and said some mean things. I am in no way a victim. I understand now that she is not capable of meeting my needs and maybe just wanted a casual FWB relationship and she was changing the rules as we were going without me knowing. I reacted to the perceived way I was being treated.
I will miss her and now to figure out what I want out of a relationship, but for now I am taking a break. I am monogamous by nature. I tried poly. She knew this about me. She also told me herself she is only poly because she likes women. I often feel like I was an accessory. When she was in the mood for a woman I was there. That's noway to live. I can't live that way. I just hope someday she will speak to me again. I have lost all my self worth as a lovable human being. Being in a "relationship" never feeling loved or told you were loved, ignored and barely spoken to by someone who claimed they loved you has to be one of the most hurtful things I have experienced.
I was never a nasty person. I just wanted some attention to. I for one do like being ignored. It hurts. Hurts a lot and when you try to mention it to your partner they blow up at you and break up b.c I was hurting. What is that? Maybe it's me. She told me I had to many expectations of her. Maybe she was right. However I don't even feel like she was treating me like a close friend.
I have nothing bad to say about my ex girlfriend. I love her and want her to be happy. We have had three major break ups that lasted months before we would get the back the together. The other two were minor last maybe a week.
This time is for good. She broke up with earlier in the week and now won't even speak to me.
Where to begin. I am single woman who was involved for two years with a married woman. My needs were never being met. My friends don't treat me the way she did. It all sounds so silly to sit here and type this out.
At one point she told me she wanted to split house holds and how I was the love of her life. How she could meet my needs and my needs and feelings were important. All this wonderful talk about the being together more.
Hubby told her no. He would never be ok with that. That he missed her the one time she would stay at my house. Then she turned around and told me she could only be a once a week g/f to me that this relationship was to casual for me and that she will never be able to meet my needs. That his feelings and needs will always come first. That I would always only get scraps. Asked why I needed a label on our relationship. Said let's just see where it naturally goes. All this very confusing me to me b.c earlier she could be all of those things.
Everytime I was at her house I could see the jealousy coming from her hubby. I could feel it. He got passive aggressive a few times.
Then suddenly she started ignoring my texts and emails for days. I ignored it and didn't say anything, but inside it was hurting me. My friends communicate with me more than her. I would text her hey what are you up to? Or where did you want to meet at tomorrow?
This happened quite a lot. I started to think maybe she is dating someone else and afraid to tell me. But than would think this is poly why would she do that.
Finally I had enough earlier in the week of this ignoring me tactic. I texted her after the last ignore saying if you arent that into me anymore just tell me. It's okay I still love ya.
No response. The next day she sent me a facebook message that her husband and her best friend had an intervention with her about me. That we are better off as friends to which I responded ok if that's what you want. I understand. That this isn't working. That I am not happy with the relationship.
No response back.
So I sent her a message back asking again about the are you just not into me anymore. Maybe you are the one not happy in this relationship with me.
No response back.
At this point I am pretty upset. SO I asked her to send my house keys back to me to which she responded come to my event at my house this Sunday.
I was shocked. I told her no. You have hurt me repeatedly. No more.
She then called me emotionally manipulative, complicated and something else. Then blocked me on facebook. I texted her saying real mature. Break up with me over Facebook than block me. Why can't you tell me the truth? Is there someone else? Are you just not into me anymore?
She responds go away.
So I wait a few days and emailed her to say I am not angry at you. I am not even mad. HOw I love her and hope someday we can be in each others lives again as friends. Told her she was right in that I wasn't happy. My needs were not getting met.
Ignore. This was two days ago.
This tells me something else was going on. Maybe I was correct in my assumptions.
Also I am in no way innocent. I was pretty angry at her and said some mean things. I am in no way a victim. I understand now that she is not capable of meeting my needs and maybe just wanted a casual FWB relationship and she was changing the rules as we were going without me knowing. I reacted to the perceived way I was being treated.
I will miss her and now to figure out what I want out of a relationship, but for now I am taking a break. I am monogamous by nature. I tried poly. She knew this about me. She also told me herself she is only poly because she likes women. I often feel like I was an accessory. When she was in the mood for a woman I was there. That's noway to live. I can't live that way. I just hope someday she will speak to me again. I have lost all my self worth as a lovable human being. Being in a "relationship" never feeling loved or told you were loved, ignored and barely spoken to by someone who claimed they loved you has to be one of the most hurtful things I have experienced.
I was never a nasty person. I just wanted some attention to. I for one do like being ignored. It hurts. Hurts a lot and when you try to mention it to your partner they blow up at you and break up b.c I was hurting. What is that? Maybe it's me. She told me I had to many expectations of her. Maybe she was right. However I don't even feel like she was treating me like a close friend.
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