Ungrounded

Nerdist would hermit if I didn't entice him out of his thoughts and mind... such is our relationship.

I'm exactly the same way. ;) Think you can handle dragging two people out of their heads? LOL!!!
 
Nice seeing you this weekend Roly..hope I wasn't too obnoxious after a bottle of Whiskey :eek:
 
Oh, lol, at one point your boy seemed mad when we were making noise and he couldn't sleep. But, the mice and the raccoons were far more "obnoxious". ;)
 
I'm going to continue this here. Not a story of success and happiness and belongs in my ongoing, "Oh my god, wtf, I'm ungrounded" thread. ;)

I can't speak for Redpepper or Polynerdist but "energy" is what seams to give me confidence in the people I meet. I feel it with you and Derby as well as with Redpepper's tersiary. It's easy to be patient for people who have a certain energy about them. It's the kind of energy that doesn't make demands or impose...it says "here I am" and merely shares in a way that is natural and inviting.

(I'm still confused about who RP's tertiary is...) I get exactly what you mean about energy. It's something I've based a lot of my life on. This aspect I have no doubts about. The physical aspects I have trouble fitting.

Love can live outside the physical realm. Some aspects live in the physical - smell, touch... but falling in love can happen outside of all practical borders. So, fitting in terms of energy, personalities, feelings... is not going to erase the physical challenges.

In many ways I'm starting to feel like I fit. In other ways, I feel scared. I need to make a decision fairly soon about where to move (unless I want to spend another winter in a one room cabin by myself with no bath, no indoor toilet, chopping wood, starting fires, slow internet, dark, stormy and windy for six months...)

The truth is that the lifestyle I need to live for the sake of my health is very different from the lifestyle that is already established. And although I can have all the fantasies I want about taking you all with me ;) somewhere that my health can thrive, this is obviously completely a fantasy.

You are all moving in a very certain direction. You've been working at this for a while and deserve to have a successful, happy living arrangement together. I fear that I don't fit into that, despite that energetically it feels great to be with all of you! I feel a lot of love, trust and safety.

This is very hard.
 
You haven't met RP's tersiary but he is a great guy and has been in her and Polynerdists' life
practically since they first met. The word Tersiary is not adequate but people understand it as a common term on here....he is much more to her than what the label implies.

I can't speak with any great deal of wisdom about the physical aspect of being closer for you but I do see the challenge in that.

This is very hard...but it doesn't always have to be hard. We're here for you :)
 
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No decision that you're going to make is irreversible. If you do decide to move here and your health can't take it there's always the option of moving somewhere else that will work for you. If you decide to stay where you are for the time being there's always the option of moving at a later date. Go with your gut though. Making the best decision with the information that we have at the present time is the best any of us can do.

You have a whole lot of people here who are willing to have stuff bounced off them. Just keep talking, what is right for you will be what happens.

-Derby
 
I wrote this in another thread,

"I'm really impressed with how its been going for you so far. You are really being smart and respectful. Your consideration for all concerned and your self is to be commended. The time and patience you have been taking is great.

I think you have lots of time to work this out and let things fall into place. A lot of your concerns will be answered in time and the answers will become evident if you leave them to manifest into what should become.

After all, its all new and no doubt you have not only some NRE (new relationship energy) with him, but the whole situation and poly itself." http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=2876

I think I am essentially saying it to you too. Nerdist and I talked this morning about everything that is going on for you and he asked that I write to you. I don't know if I should get too involved except to say that for me things are going just fine. The door is opened a crack and we are all looking inside to see what might be, that is entirely the right pace I think. We agree that there is potential for that door to open, but it should be left up to the future I think.... and patience.

Bottom line is for you to find a place where you can take care of your physical and mental health. The rest will follow. It's not like there will be an end if you move far away. It will just be different and take a different pace than if you lived here. Sure it would suck for the two of you, but it doesn't have to. There will be visits, emails, phone calls.... stuff you already are doing.

I'm not sure what the rush is to figure any of it out. There is the whole summer and when the time comes and winter is upon us, it might be more evident. Other than that the pace you are going and the exploration you are doing, as are we, is par for the course and a journey that we should all be enjoying as far as I am concerned.
 
Mono and Derby, thank you so much for being supportive. I'm still a little taken aback by how supportive and welcoming this poly community has been.


I wrote this in another thread,

"I'm really impressed with how its been going for you so far. You are really being smart and respectful. Your consideration for all concerned and your self is to be commended. The time and patience you have been taking is great.

I think you have lots of time to work this out and let things fall into place. A lot of your concerns will be answered in time and the answers will become evident if you leave them to manifest into what should become.

After all, its all new and no doubt you have not only some NRE (new relationship energy) with him, but the whole situation and poly itself." http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=2876

I think I am essentially saying it to you too.

I did read this. :) I agree. It is wonderful to take time to let things fall into place.

I'm not sure what the rush is to figure any of it out. There is the whole summer and when the time comes and winter is upon us, it might be more evident.

The rush is 100% about my own life and comfort level. I don't feel any rush with the relationships. I feel rushed to plan a move somewhere. I need to be out of my cabin in August and that is a perfect time to move - both because I'll be packing my stuff anyway and because the weather is conducive. If I return in September, I am essentially committing to another winter there. And I dread another winter there.

Anyway, I'm going to just give it a rest for a bit....
 
Have a tea and read a book. Take a night off Roly :)

or talk to Nerdist while I deal with cat pee on a carpet. I shook it out side and it splattered all over me... I tried to put it in the wash and there was a back up of washing and I was covered in pee and holding a pee soaked mat.

I had to cut your conversation short in order to get some help :eek: sorry for interrupting.

I suggested to Nerdist that perhaps he should drive you around a bit to look at areas... there is some beautiful places that don't mean you have to live in the city, but I realize it might be hard to know this if you are busing it. Maybe it would help? It sounds like your alternative is not great either... you already lived there once no? and had to leave there too... although I don't know the circumstances.
 
or talk to Nerdist while I deal with cat pee on a carpet.

LOL!! Put in this way, it does sound rather funny. Hope it wasn't too much of a disaster.

I had to cut your conversation short in order to get some help :eek: sorry for interrupting.

RP, if I were covered in pee, I'd hope for the same. LOL!!! :D

I suggested to Nerdist that perhaps he should drive you around a bit to look at areas... there is some beautiful places that don't mean you have to live in the city, but I realize it might be hard to know this if you are busing it.

Nothing stops me from buying another car. I just resist it because it's such a hassle.

It sounds like your alternative is not great either... you already lived there once no? and had to leave there too... although I don't know the circumstances.

No, I didn't have to leave. I chose to leave to be with my ex, to come back to my island and build a house. That place actually worked really well for me in most ways while I was there.
 
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