MonoVCPHG
New member
Self-discovery sucks until it's wonderful.
That would make a great T-shirt! Thanks
Self-discovery sucks until it's wonderful.
I'll be taking a break from active participation on the forums for a while. I got caught up in recent negativity and let it seep into my relationship. I'm focusing on what is real and what I have....a wonderful poly relationship with an incredible woman and her family. I'll be lurking for sure and keeping in touch through Redpepper.
Hope everyone figures out what they want and achieves that...I have; and if a mono vanilla cracker can achieve success in a poly world, there's hope for all of us
Peace and Love
Mono
hey berserker, that was very well thought out and very poignant. thank you. It meant a lot to me that you say this at this time and on this part of our journey. Very perceptive and I thank you for taking the time to tell us what you think... I appreciate hearing your voice.
Thats just my personal opinion. Not a flame, or an order. Not pushing anything. Just stating what I think.
Mono,
Keep the wind in your face and ride till you feel right with it all.Sending our love from AK. You need anything or just want to chat RP has my Facebook.
You still owe me a place to ride my bike in the winter
Peace and Love
Maca
Wow Berserker! Great to hear from you. Did you join the army recently? Thanks for the advice. Don't worry about giving me orders...20 years in the military has conditioned me to take them :0 Take care and if you did in fact sign up...stay safe!
Remember..the greatest motivation in battle is not fighting what you are going to lose..it's fighting for what the people who love you will lose.
Mono
I have been struggling a lot lately in regards to missing "normalcy" in how it used to be defined for me. Although I was never fully connected to the people in my old social community it was comfortable, stable, and understood. It was also what most of the people around me were doing and I'm totally ok with not questioning or going against the flow.
I have felt some resentment in being pulled into another community through my relationship with Redpepper.
Poly, sex positive, kink, BDSM, even activism, socialism, vegetarianism, and passionate environmentalism are all different to me in a community sense and yet they are a part of my life now. I am learning and finding enjoyment in some of these new areas but the sheer pressure of this feels like a tidal wave sometimes.
Love is not enough for me to be healthy. I have to be comfortable with the new social direction my life has taken. I don't see how I can separate myself from the community the woman I love embraces and wants; if it remains unknown than it remains a threat. I've played that out in my head and it would be "the beginning of the end" for me. It would be like living a separate life or having a casual relationship that is not acceptable for me. I am either romantically in or out. I can be friend or full blown Love, but nothing in between; there are no half measures with Redpepper.
So I struggle. I'm forcing myself to let go of an old community that I never really belonged to. I'm pushing myself to embrace the community the woman I love enjoys and am making headway for sure. I have a long way to go in coming to terms with this area of inner conflict but I get so much support from Redpepper and her husband.
The love I have for Redpepper is immense and has made me work harder than in any other relationship because the issues span a broad spectrum. Dealing with the mono-poly thing is just the tip of the iceberg in our relationship. We have taken a dive off a cliff and the waters are a lot deeper than they look….I just need to avoid drowning.
Peace and Love
Mono