RichardInTN
Member
Greetings!
I come in peace!
I am a stranger among you!
(o.k. got the corny "what do I open with" question out of the way...)
I've believed in polyamory since I was about 5, even though I didn't realize it at the time. It's only in reflecting back that I realize I picked up on the secret way back then, when I realized that more children didn't mean the parents loved each one any less... so why did it have to be different with adults why couldn't they love more than one?
Problem is while I know poly and understand poly and know that I myself am "poly-capable", I've never been in a poly relationship.
I'm currently married, but that marriage was entered into under a few false pretenses by my wife. When we met, I let her know that I didn't want to be exclusive and that if either one of us met another that we wanted to include, that that's how the relationship had to be. She agreed to that and seemed to be happy with it being that way. prior to us actually "tying the knot and making it official" we never came across anyone that we wanted to include (my part in not doing so was probably due to a weird work schedule that didn't allow much free time, at the time, I can only speculate about why she didn't find anyone... but my speculation would be just that, speculation). So, we went forward with the wedding and immediately after the wedding she wanted to talk with me and she basically told me that there were going to be some relationship changes... one of which was Poly was off the table. Apparently she was always monogamous and just accepted our pre-wedding "relationship conditions" as necessary to "land me" (not that I'm saying I'm THAT great of a catch... lol).
I do love her and only want her to be happy, so, I haven't pursued anything, and won't... unless she changes her mind (not likely) or we are no longer together (either through divorce or, heaven forbid, if something happens to her). Being 100% honest means no lying and no cheating.
So... all that said, I'll probably mostly lurk, but I may post a bit if I think i have some insight into the topic at hand.
If anyone has any questions I'm more than happy to answer them (either in open forum, or in PM... asker's choice), but I am "uncensored" when I answer... I don't hold anything back and I keep no secrets (except contact information, I won't put that out in the public internet for all to see). So, if you ask, be ready for the answer.
RichardInTN
P.S. Yes, Richard is my real name, but it's common enough that I'm not too worried about people knowing it.
I come in peace!
I am a stranger among you!
(o.k. got the corny "what do I open with" question out of the way...)
I've believed in polyamory since I was about 5, even though I didn't realize it at the time. It's only in reflecting back that I realize I picked up on the secret way back then, when I realized that more children didn't mean the parents loved each one any less... so why did it have to be different with adults why couldn't they love more than one?
Problem is while I know poly and understand poly and know that I myself am "poly-capable", I've never been in a poly relationship.
I'm currently married, but that marriage was entered into under a few false pretenses by my wife. When we met, I let her know that I didn't want to be exclusive and that if either one of us met another that we wanted to include, that that's how the relationship had to be. She agreed to that and seemed to be happy with it being that way. prior to us actually "tying the knot and making it official" we never came across anyone that we wanted to include (my part in not doing so was probably due to a weird work schedule that didn't allow much free time, at the time, I can only speculate about why she didn't find anyone... but my speculation would be just that, speculation). So, we went forward with the wedding and immediately after the wedding she wanted to talk with me and she basically told me that there were going to be some relationship changes... one of which was Poly was off the table. Apparently she was always monogamous and just accepted our pre-wedding "relationship conditions" as necessary to "land me" (not that I'm saying I'm THAT great of a catch... lol).
I do love her and only want her to be happy, so, I haven't pursued anything, and won't... unless she changes her mind (not likely) or we are no longer together (either through divorce or, heaven forbid, if something happens to her). Being 100% honest means no lying and no cheating.
So... all that said, I'll probably mostly lurk, but I may post a bit if I think i have some insight into the topic at hand.
If anyone has any questions I'm more than happy to answer them (either in open forum, or in PM... asker's choice), but I am "uncensored" when I answer... I don't hold anything back and I keep no secrets (except contact information, I won't put that out in the public internet for all to see). So, if you ask, be ready for the answer.
RichardInTN
P.S. Yes, Richard is my real name, but it's common enough that I'm not too worried about people knowing it.