Just wondering...

Tahirabs

New member
Now, before I start this post, I want to say that I know I've asked a lot of questions on this message board because I'm new, and if this bothers anyone (or if this question in particular bothers anyone), please let me know.

I was just wondering how to refer to my relationship with my husband and my GF, as people on this message board have called us a V and a triad. My GF and husband have both told me they love each other (and they say it to each other occasionally), but have also told me they would never be sexual with each other alone (only when I'm around, are they). They also say I am the most important person to them and that the other one is secondary to them.

Interestingly though, they both say they would be friends with each other even if I weren't around. Even more interesting, my GF says she wouldn't be fully committed to and in love with me without my husband. She says she has known for many years that she would only fall completely in love and be committed to a couple (MF, FF or transgender MM).

Hmmm... I don't know what to make of all of this, and thought that you smart people might have a clue. Thanks for any thoughts you might have.
 
No need to apologize for asking questions!

It really comes down to what you feel like it is. I have had friends in the situation you describe and they referred to their relationship as a V. But at the same time, I've had a friend who was in in similar situation and considered it a triad, even though she was straight and not involved sexually with the other woman.

So, which description feels more right to you? Go with your gut on this one.
 
Questions are good

Hi Tahirabs,

Hey, questions and discussions are what we're all here for! Never hesitate, please!

In regards to your particular situation, just keep in mind (as you'll see numerous people here attest to) that there's no "one way." As long as the 3 of you are happy in your relationship and it's benefiting everyone, ignore labels and and attempts to put frames around it. It just doesn't matter. It's working. Don't break it by over-analyzing.

GS
 
Call it what you will. Just know you may have people who don't understand. That's true about anything, really.

We have a similar dynamic. We're a V, in our minds, because the guys are straight and uninterested in sexual relations with one another. But when Em is around, we say we're a quad, and she's not sexual with ANY OF US. Ha! Mixes the world up, keeps us entertained!
 
Now before I start this post, I want to say I know I've asked a lot of questions on this message board because I'm new, and if this bothers anyone (or if this question in particular bothers anyone) please let me know.

Oh phooey. Please don't think that you can't ask questions. It might be that some of us will suggest reading other posts in order to embellish on the answers you get, but that doesn't mean that everyone is irritated. That is what this is all about, supporting one another.

As for what you call each other, others have said, but, just like negotiating boundaries, it's up to all of you how you want to define yourself, as anything at all.
 
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